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Why would God take away wonderful marriage relationships when we go to heaven?

q.gif (1639 bytes)     In Matthew 22:30 we read that after the resurrection there will no longer be any marriage and that we will become as the angels.   1. Many people have wonderful marriages that have developed through the years. Why would God take this relationship from us?   2. Would you elaborate on "..as the angels"? I was under the impression that we would judge the angels.  Any guidance that you can give will be greatly appreciated.


a.gif (1659 bytes)   Matthew 22:23-32 says, “The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that there is no resurrection, and asked him, Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother: Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh. And last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”

The first part of your question was, “1. Many people have wonderful marriages that have developed through the years. Why would God take this relationship from us?”

Marriage is a wonderful thing, and is ordained of God. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

 But the fact of the matter is that even in the best of marriages there are trials and tribulations, because of sin entering into the world. I Corinthians 7:24-36 says, “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless SUCH SHALL HAVE TROUBLE IN THE FLESH: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.” What kind of “trouble in the flesh” do married people experience?

It would have been wonderful to experience marriage, like Adam and Eve did, before sin entered into the picture. It was only after Adam and Eve sinned, that God had to come right out and say that the woman would now have to submit to her husband. Genesis 3:16 says, “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and HE SHALL RULE OVER THEE.” There is sometimes friction in the home because of decisions that are made, and who must make the final decision.

Because of sin, the wife has to deal with heartaches in relation to her husband, too. Man now has to work hard just to make a living. Genesis 3:17-19 says, “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”

That affects the woman, too. She has to sometimes deal with her husband coming home from work all tired out. She may be anxious to talk to her husband and share all of the things that have happened during the day, but he may come home so tired, that he does not feel much like talking, and may actually fall asleep in a chair while she is talking. She may become resentful of that, but what she is experiencing in the result of sin and the curse.

She also may have to deal with losses and disappointments in the marriage. When thorns and thistles take over a field, there is a loss involved of a good crop. We hear that money problems are the number one cause of marital trouble. When a man invests many hours in his work, and possibly his own personal money as well, and then suffers a loss, that also affects the wife. She may then question his wisdom in financial matters; his spirituality; of even her decision to marry him in the first place. Women like financial security. When they do not have that, they are often very troubled.

The second part of your question was, “2. Would you elaborate on "..as the angels"? I was under the impression that we would judge the angels.”

We will be like the angels in regard to not “marrying and having children” in heaven. Luke 20:34-36 says, “And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.” We do NOT become angels in heaven. We will be redeemed saints of God. We will just be LIKE angels in regard to these areas of not getting married and having children.

 When God grants a baby to be conceived by a couple, that is a precious gift. Psalm 127:3 says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” But there are varying degrees of difficulty that the mother (and therefore, the rest of the family) experience during that time.

The mother-to-be may experience some periods of sickness during those months. Heaven would not be too pleasant, if it included “morning sickeness.” In fact, the Bible clearly teaches that there will be no sickness in heaven. Revelation 21:1-5 says, “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.”

Probably every happily married person has had the same question that you have asked. At first, we are saddened to think that we will not have this same relationship in heaven with our spouses. But the changes that God makes when we trade in our physical bodies for our glorified bodies, will be changes for the BETTER — NOT FOR THE WORSE. Psalm 16:11 says, “Thou wilt show me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are PLEASURES FOR EVERMORE.” There are wonderful pleasures in marriage. Proverbs 5:19 tells the husband in regard to his wife, “...be thou ravished always with her love.” But pleasures in this world are very short. Husbands and wives have many duties to do, and the more children that come along, the less time they seem to have together. In heaven, there are going to be “pleasures for evermore.”

Our relationship with our spouses IS GOING TO BE BETTER when we get to heaven. God does not make things worse, but better. How can our relationships be better there? First, because there will be no selfishness. What does it mean when people say of a couple, “The honeymoon is over!”? It means that one or both of the couple is asserting themselves. It means that one is tired of always letting the other have his/her own way. In heaven, we will never be selfish any more. We will always think of others first — especially in regard to God. We will always have the right relationship to Him and to others. In relation to our husband/wife, that means that we will always treat them in the highest possible way in heaven.

This is a subject which must be approached by faith. Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

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