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Can I Marry Her?

q.gif (1639 bytes) The question I wanted to ask was on marrying someone who believes in God, but has not taken the step of fellowship, that is water baptism or have not answered to an alter call.  I have noticed that your site has condemned unequally yoked Christians which in essence is really a bad idea.
    However, this young lady and I have been going steady for a long time, since college at a time that I knew the Word but was still young or believed that the scripture of being unequally yoked was taken way out of context.  In my mind, I had the philosophy that although we were not married, we shared a bond that many people may not have.  Also since we decided to see each other exclusively, then that in itself constitutes a Biblical marriage as far as I understood. She has never stood against my will to serve God.   She has always been there to me.   Sometimes I feel that she has walked a straighter path than myself because I know that I have hurt her in the past by going out with other women while she has always stayed faithful.  As a Christian though, I know that forgiveness from God all as long as we are truly sorry and we worship in Spirit. All and all what I am putting across that in my assessment she is truly a good person, however weak in the Lord.  She always has been interested in learning from me about the Bible as I grew up in a stalwart Christian  family where my parents are highly noted in their assemble with various high degree responsibilities.   Due to this, I was raised up in the Word, so to speak.  On the other hand, she was raised up with less privileges of really knowing God as I have in a family that does not portray Christian living and in some ways have a form of godliness.  We got engaged this summer as I believe that she truly loves me, more than any woman would really ever and I believe that through God, she will come into full understanding.
    As mentioned earlier, I have read your messages about being unequally yoked. Doesn't the Bible however speak of not knowing if the unbelieving wife would come to the Lord and also the sanctification that a believing husband brings to a household? Are you trying to bring across the idea that if a believer marries an unbeliever is salvation is shattered although when God comes we are neither given in marriage or married but just one in the Lord? Really know, everybody knows how to discern God's will in their life and I always felt that at no time in our relationship could I have ever broke apart with her because I knew that this would truly mess her up as she really showed love sticking with me through some low points in my life. There is so much more to Christianity than marriage and sometimes I believe that in life each individual situation is different.   When God gave us the Bible, it was to open our understanding of Him but I am almost positively certain that since then He has been speaking to many more person showing them a more excellent way to life. Well, I just felt like sending an e-mail to share some of my views on the matter.

a.gif (1659 bytes)Thank you for your question.

    You stated: "The question I wanted to ask was on marrying someone who believes in God, but has not taken the step of fellowship, that is water baptism or have not answered to an alter call. I have noticed that your site have condemned unequally yoked Christians which in essence is really a bad idea."

    I would encourage you to carefully go through the Bible Course on Baptism on this same Web Site.  Baptism does not save a person.  A person cannot be baptized until he or she is already saved.  The Bible says, "Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus.  And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; WHAT DOTH HINDER ME TO BE BAPTIZED?  And Philip said, IF THOU BELIEVEST WITH ALL THINE HEART, THOU MAYEST. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.  And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. (Holy Bible, Acts 8:35-38).  Baptism is not going to save your friend - the blood of Jesus Christ can only do that.  The Bible says, "the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from ALL SIN" (Holy Bible, I John 1:7).

    Also, going forward at an altar call is not going to save a person.  It is a personal decision that must be made in a person's own heart, and then that heart belief confessed with the mouth.  The Bible says, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.  For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed" (Holy Bible, Romans 10:9-11).  When Peter was speaking to Cornelius and his relatives and friends, they got saved right in their seats.  The Bible says, "To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins.  While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word.  And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost.  For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter,  Can any man forbid water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we?" (Holy Bible, Acts 10:43-47).  Many people have gone forward to the altar, thinking that was all that it took to be saved, but they do not even know what they did when they got up there.  A person must repent, and then call upon the Lord Jesus Christ to save him/her.  The Bible says, "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." (Holy Bible, Luke 13:3).  "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." (Holy Bible, Romans 10:13).

    It is not just this site that clearly condemns a saved person marrying an unsaved person, it is God's Holy Word that condemns such a practice.  The Bible says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?  And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?  And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,  And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." (Holy Bible, II Corinthians 6:14-18).

    Widows are given permission to marry if their mates have died, and the other person is qualified to marry.  Notice one of the qualifications, "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; ONLY IN THE LORD" (I Corinthians 7:39).  A widow is told to only marry another saved person.

    If you marry an unsaved person, expect a miserable life from your "father-in-law."  For who is your unsaved mate's "father?"  The Bible clearly tells you in John 8:44, "Ye are of YOUR FATHER THE DEVIL, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."  The devil cannot take away your salvation, but he can sure make your life miserable, if you go ahead and marry one of his children.

    No matter how long you have known this young lady, you are not "one" with her as husband and wife until you are married.  The Bible says, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Holy Bible, Mark 10:9).  Any immoral relationship before marriage does not make you "husband and wife," in God's eyes, but makes you "whoremongers."  The Bible says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

    You stated, "Doesn't the Bible however speak of not knowing if the unbelieving wife  would come to the Lord and also the sanctification that a believing husband brings to a household?"

    That does not apply to you, because you are not married yet.  If a person is already married to an unsaved person, then they are commanded not to leave that person, because they do not know but what that mate might one day get saved.  But if you knowingly marry an unsaved person, then you are disobeying God's Word, and can expect judgment to fall upon you for your disobedience.

    Your best chance to ever see her saved is right now.  If she sees that Jesus is truly first in your life, and that you would be willing to obey Him, even if it means losing her.  But on the other hand, if you go ahead and marry her, and then start to witness to her and try to see her saved, expect her anger to come out in your marriage.  For she will see you as a deceiver, if you would accept her as she is right now, and then try and convert her after you are married.  She needs to know the truth - now.

    Get a King James Bible, and get on a schedule to read it through at least once a year.  You also need to go through the Salvation Bible Course on this same Web Site, and make sure that you understand what salvation really is.

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