Question:
I know a pastor who is divorced and married to another woman who is also divorced both are having children with the previous relationship. Please confirm whether they are living in adultery. Can we go to the church which they conduct. But God is able to forgive David’s sin and gave Solomon his son the Throne and moreover he like Solomon?
Answer:
I Timothy 3:1-7 says, “This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, THE HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”
This passage forbids a pastor from having: more than one wife at a time (polygamy); and from having a living wife and a living ex-wife or ex-wives (divorce and remarriage). It also forbids a man to be a pastor whose home is divided by a divorce (“One that ruleth well his own house” “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?”) If his marriage fails, then he did not know how to rule his own house very well. Divorces are also usually nasty situations with bitterness, and thus, the pastor often could also not fulfill the requirement of “Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without.”
There is forgiveness for failure, but there are also consequences for it. One consequence is that a man who faces such problems in his home must step down from being a pastor. Or, if these things happened before the man became a pastor, then he should not seek that office, but accept the restrictions which God has placed upon his life.
The sad thing is that many men who face such problems in their marriages are then being counseled to become evangelists or missionaries. That is also unscriptural. Even deacons are held to the exact same standard of marriage as is a pastor. I Timothy 3:8-13 says, “Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. LET THE DEACONS BE THE HUSBANDS OF ONE WIFE, ruling their children and their own houses well. For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.”
Why do churches overlook these passages? Usually, because their pastor is a good public speaker, and well-liked by the people.
Church members should pray in earnest for their pastors. The devil had a desire to do something to Peter, that he would like to do to every pastor. Luke 22:31,32 says, “And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”
Find a church with a scriptural pastor, and then pray daily and earnestly for him and his family.