I have an advanced case of lime disease. I have been in pain and mental anguish for over two years now. I am having trouble getting proper medications and it seems I am terminal. I am a Christian and have been for a long time. I have deep faith in Jesus Christ. I have decided to stop all medications and I will not go into the hospital any more. This will hasten my demise. I have been told as a Christian I have work to do for Jesus and this is not an action I can take. But, I’m tired of living. Am I doing wrong to refuse meds and just let death take me? Also, if I were to kill myself, would I lose my salvation?
Thanks for your question. Although we may feel at times that we are too tired to go on and struggle with sickness and disease, only God knows whether it is indeed a terminal illness or not. Consider what Job thought. “So am I made to possess months of vanity, and wearisome nights are appointed to me. When I lie down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone? and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning of the day…My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and are spent without hope…When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint; Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions: So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life. I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my days are vanity” (Holy Bible, Job 7). Clearly, Job thought, “This is it,” and he
just wanted to hurry up and die.
Although Job thought that it was the end for him physically upon this earth, we know that it was not. God had great things in store for him: 140 more years of life (Job 42:16), 10 more children (Job 42:13), and double the wealth that he had before he got sick (Job 42:10-12). Praise God that He did not immediately give Job what he wanted.
Do you have to stop taking medications? That is a decision in which God will have to lead you. What are some factors?
The cost of the medicine. Is the cost of the medicine going to leave a large debt for your family, or is the cost of the medication of no real problem?
The side affects of the medicine. Do the side affects hurt you physically? Is there really any advantage to taking the medicine, considering what it does to your body in other ways, or are there no noticeable side effects, or few, minor ones?
Your faith and trust has to be in the Lord to guide you through this sickness. There is nothing wrong with going to a physician. Jesus Himself said, “They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick” (Holy Bible, Matthew 9:12). There is no sin in going to the doctor when you are sick.
But on the other hand, only the Lord can cause a person to get well. “And Asa in the thirty and ninth year of his reign was diseased in his feet, until his disease was exceeding great: yet in his disease he sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his fathers, and died in the one and fortieth year of his reign” (Holy Bible, II Chronicles 16:12,13). No amount of medicine and doctors can help you, if it is not God’s will for you to continue to live physically.
Consider the apostle Paul and Dr. Luke in the Book of Acts. Read Acts chapter 28. Paul is bitten by a poisonous snake (vs. 3). What does Paul do? Cry out for Dr. Luke to come? No. Paul just shakes off the snake, and no harm comes to him. In verse 8, the chief man’s father is seen to be sick. Do they call for Dr. Luke? No. They call for the man of God, Paul. They did not look to medicine, they looked to God. There is nothing wrong with taking medicine. Medicine was used to heal Hezekiah (a natural medicine), but it is wrong for us to put our trust in medicine. Our trust must be in God, and we must seek His face as to what, if any medicine there is that we should take.
Is this sickness unto death for the glory of God? Remember when Lazarus was sick, and was going to die? “When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby” (Holy Bible, John 11:4). It was through Lazarus’ death and resurrection, that people were saved, and that Jesus was glorified. “But the chief priests consulted that they might put Lazarus also to death; Because that by reason of him many Jews went away, and believed on Jesus” (Holy Bible, John 12:10,11). It may be that through our sickness and godly testimony, and then death, that the gospel could then be preached at our funeral, and that people would believe upon Christ and get saved. Thus, through our death, God would be glorified.
There are times when it is God’s time for a person to die, and that person desperately wants to live any way, despite God’s will. Such was the case with Hezekiah. “In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And the prophet Isaiah the son of Amoz came to him, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live” (Holy Bible, II Kings 20:1,2). Hezekiah proceeded to turn his head toward the wall and pray and cry. So Isaiah was sent back with the message, “Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the Lord. I will add unto thy days fifteen years…” (Holy Bible, II Kings 20:5,6).
Hezekiah would have been better off being willing to accept the will of God that it was his time to die, because in those 15 years of extended life, a son was born to him by the name of Manasseh. “Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign” (Holy Bible, II Kings 21:1). Hezekiah was in his third year of extended life when Manasseh was born, and Manasseh was a wicked, wicked king. Read II Kings 22:1-9. It is summed up in verse 9 of that chapter when it says, “Manasseh seduced them to do more evil than did the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the children of Israel.”
There is no way that I can tell you how God wants you to deal with your particular sickness. That is something that you will have to read God’s Word (the King James Bible) and pray about (Acts 17:11) (Romans 12:1,2).
As to the matter of committing suicide and the effect upon your salvation, you need to find the Bible Course on Salvation on this same Web Site and go through it. Your question indicates that you do not really understand the doctrine of salvation, and what it means. When we repent of our sin and receive Jesus Christ as our Savior, we can never lose our salvation. “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out” (Holy Bible, John 6:37). “For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Holy Bible, Hebrews 13:5). Our salvation is secure, because it depends totally upon Jesus’ righteousness, and not our own. “For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (Holy Bible, II Corinthians 5:21). That would be terrible for you to kill yourself and wind up in hell, because you thought that you were saved, but really were not. There are many people who are going to stand before God that thought that they were saved, but are going to find out that they were not. Read Matthew 7:21-23. Get the matter of your salvation settled – now, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (Holy Bible, II Corinthians 6:2).
As to a Christian even thinking of killing himself/herself, you do not realize what it is going to be like to stand before God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men…” (Holy Bible, II Corinthians 5:10,11). Read I Corinthians 3:11-17. We serve the one, true, holy God. Your life is His, not your own (I Corinthians 6:19,20). Do not even think about destroying God’s creation.