Can a person remarry the person that they divorced? The ex-husband is not saved. The wife is dedicated to the Lord. She is thinking about remarrying her ex,and is not sure if it is right in the eyes of our Father. Thank you.
This question is a difficult one, because there are several things to consider.
First, God has told man not to grant divorces. Mark 10:9 says, “What therefore God hath joined together, LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER.” But what if man disobeys the Lord, and the court system does grant a husband and his wife a divorce? Are they still married, or not?
Romans 7:2,3 says, “For the woman which hath an husband is BOUND BY THE LAW TO HER HUSBAND SO LONG AS HE LIVETH; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then IF, WHILE HER HUSBAND LIVETH, SHE BE MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
Please notice two things from that passage. First, a husband and wife are considered husband and wife until death separates them. “…BOUND BY THE LAW TO HER HUSBAND SO LONG AS HE LIVETH.” But also please notice that God does recognize second (or third, or fourth, etc.) marriages as marriage (even though He does not approve of them). “So then IF, WHILE HER HUSBAND LIVETH, SHE BE MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN…” So it is possible for a person to have more than one living husband or wife (with one or more being FORMER husbands and wives, and one being a PRESENT husband or wife (if a person is a polygamist, then there could be more than one present husband or wife, also).
This does not mean that a person can enjoy the benefits of marriage with all of the present or former husbands or wives whenever he or she wants. In fact, even in the Old Testament, there were conditions where a former husband and wife could not get REMARRIED, that is, could not legally come back together in full marriage blessings and benefits. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 says, “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. And IF THE LATTER HUSBAND HATE HER, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; OR IF THE LATTER HUSBAND DIE, which took her to be his wife; HER FORMER HUSBAND, which sent her away, MAY NOT TAKE HER AGAIN TO BE HIS WIFE, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.”
What do we see in the above passage? First, we see “latter husbands” mentioned. That is, “a husband after the first one or ones.” So the second (or third, or fourth, etc.) is recognized as a husband, as well. Then we also see “former husband” mentioned. That is, “a husband that is still alive, but not a husband to which the woman is presently married.”
Jesus acknowledged that a woman could have more than one husband when He talked to the woman at the well. John 4:16-18 says, “Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For THOU HAST HAD FIVE HUSBANDS; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.”
The point is this: some people say that seeming God forbids granting a divorce (Mark 10:9), then the only marriage that God recognizes is the first one — that only the first man and woman that each person has is really their husband or wife (meaning that all other marriages are not recognized by God as a real marriage). And many would go so far as to say that the original two should thus get back together, even if it means present husbands and wives getting divorces to return to their previous mates. But as we can see from the above examples in the Old and New Testaments, God does recognize latter marriages as marriage, even though He does not approve of them.
The Bible is also very clear that there are situations where God forbids previous husbands and wives from getting remarried. “And IF THE LATTER HUSBAND HATE HER, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; OR IF THE LATTER HUSBAND DIE, which took her to be his wife; HER FORMER HUSBAND, which sent her away, MAY NOT TAKE HER AGAIN TO BE HIS WIFE…” What did that say? If a man divorces his wife, and she then goes and marries another man. And, then, if that man also divorces her, or if he dies, THEN SHE CANNOT GO BACK AND BE HER FIRST HUSBAND’S WIFE AGAIN. The point is that there are times when former husbands and wives cannot remarry.
The normal situation is that husbands and wives who are separated or divorced should seek to be reconciled (or remarried, if they got divorced). I Corinthians 7:10,11 says, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED, OR BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
Your question was, “Can a person remarry the person that they divorced? The ex-husband is not saved. The wife is dedicated to the Lord. She is thinking about remarrying her ex, and is not sure if it is right in the eyes of our Father.”
Based upon that information, and according to the above passage, I would have to say that she should remain unmarried, unless the former husband gets saved, and also assuming that he has not been married to someone else. I Corinthians 7:39 says, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be MARRIED TO WHOM SHE WILL; ONLY IN THE LORD.” If she goes and marries her former husband who is not saved, then she is disobeying a clear command of Scripture not to marry an unsaved person. II Corinthians 6:14-18 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.” Our highest allegiance is to be to the Lord.
As a pastor, I could never marry a saved person to an unsaved person, even if they had been previously married. That would be clear disobedience to Scripture. This woman needs to pray that her former husband would get saved. By her taking a stand to obey the Lord, the Lord may work in the man’s heart that he would get saved. Then, assuming that neither of them have former living mates (and neither had a mate after their divorce from each other), they could get remarried.