Question:
I have a similar situation as to the following Question from a man named Dana.
(Previous Question on Web Page)
“Dear pastor, My name is Dana, I am a 24 yr. old male, and I have a serious problem- let me tell you my story…I was reborn last January, and I’ve been growing quickly in the word of the Lord. Since then, I’ve had a calling to become a pastor myself, so for obvious reasons- it is very important to follow Gods laws. I am also currently engaged to be married to a wonderful Christian girl, and we try our best to do what is right- to make our union a holy one. But, here’s my problem…
She has already been married once- to a man that abused her mentally, and physically, as well as raping her. This wasn’t enough to drive her away from him- but she decided to leave after he had cheated on her. Now, their divorce is final, and she and I want to marry. The Bible has many rules about a woman cheating on her husband- but none that I can see clearly pertain to this situation. I want to know if it would be a sin to marry her. Some of the scripture I’ve looked at are Deut.24.1-4, Malachi 2.14-16, Matthew 5.31-32, Matthew 19.3-12, Luke 16.18, and 1 Corinthians 7.10-17. I would truly appreciate all, and any advice you could send my way on this.”
(End Previous Question On Web Page)
However, I have one small problem. I married this woman! I “thought” it was best at the time, unfortunately I was wrong, but I and my wife have asked for forgiveness and had been concentrating on our son in which we had together. However, her ex-husband had talked her back and she returned to him and is now pregnant by him. What is my responsibility unto the Lord right now? Is she my wife, even though I have asked for forgiveness and was forgiven, did God still look at that as adultery (meaning, her and I being remarried). He (her former husband) has had affairs while they were married. What about our son (who is 14 months old)?
Thank you. I haven’t found any scripture regarding the subject of this matter (meaning – Should I remarry or return to my former spouse (first spouse) if I am married now. I would like that addressed. And, isn’t it forbidden for the former spouse to remarry the other if they had already been remarried? See Deut 24:1-4
Answer:
You are correct, in that a spouse cannot Scripturally go back and remarry a former mate, if either of them has remarried in the period while they were divorced. Deuteronomy 24:3,4 says, “And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; HER FORMER HUSBAND, WHICH SENT HER AWAY, MAY NOT TAKE HER AGAIN TO BE HIS WIFE, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.”
Despite the sin of your present wife, she is still your wife, unless she divorces you. It would not be Scriptural for you to divorce her now, even though your marriage was not started Scripturally. I Corinthians 7:10,11 says, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and LET NOT THE HUSBAND PUT AWAY HIS WIFE.”
If she has walked out of your home, then you are not in bondage to her, in the sense of loving, cherishing, protecting, and meeting her needs, because she is not there for you to fulfill that. I Corinthians 7:15 says, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” In other words, it would be wrong to go to her former husband’s house and try to make her come back — that would only cause a fight, and God has called us to peace. If your wife wants you to meet her needs, then she must come back to you.
What should you do in the mean time? As to your marital status, apply I Corinthians 7:27: “Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.”
Spend much time before the Lord during this difficult time. James 4:8-10 says, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” There is nothing that man can do to help you in your present difficult situation. Only God can bring joy out of this trouble and sorrow, so spend much time seeking His face. I Chronicles 16:11 says, “Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.”