Hello. I currently go to __________________ Baptist Church in _____________. I was wondering if you could help me with a problem. I like a girl who is only 14 and I am 18. Also, she is a Mormon and I am obviously not. Is it o.k. to go out with her? One more thing. I also like a girl who I once had made her hate me but now we are talking again. I am not too sure what to do. I like both of these girls a whole lot. Thanks.
It is wrong to date or court anyone with whom you are not engaged. The reason is because it is wrong for people to fall in love with anyone other than their husband or wife. That is why in the Bible you only see engagement or betrothal, and never dating or courting.
Remember Joseph and Mary? Matthew 1:18-24 says, “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was ESPOUSED to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her HUSBAND, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy WIFE: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his WIFE.”
Notice how Joseph and Mary are called “husband” and “wife” while they are only “espoused” or “engaged.” They were both pure during the engagement period, but it is okay at that point to fall in love, because they were promised to each other.
If you date someone, you may be falling in love with a young woman that will one day be another man’s wife. That is sin. One of the Ten Commandments is: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOUR’S WIFE…” (Exodus 20:17). If you fall in love with a young lady that is to one day be another man’s wife, then you are breaking that commandment. When a young couple dates and breaks up, there are still often feelings on the part of at least one of them for weeks, months, or even years. You are already on dangerous ground, because your heart is after two young ladies, and it should only be reserved for one.
The Biblical way is to observe a young lady from a distance, and see if she is indeed a virtuous woman (read Proverbs 31 over and over). If she meets the Biblical qualifications for a wife (which the one you have in mind does not — #1 — Because she is the member of a cult (their Jesus is Lucifer’s spirit-brother) (I Corinthians 7:39 “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; ONLY IN THE LORD.”, #2 — She is not near a marrying age yet, at only 14 years old).
When a young lady with the right qualifications is found, then have your parents go and talk to her parents. That way, they can find out if her parents approve of you, and that takes a lot of pressure off of you. Also, it takes the pressure off of the young lady, because she can talk it all over with her parents. Guys fear being rejected and told “No” by a young lady, and gals fear having to be put on the spot by guys. If it is done right, the parents handle that end of it. And if it is not meant to be, then the young people can escape the situation without getting a broken heart through it all.
We have a Bible Course almost finished on the subject of marriage, and how to find the right one. Keep checking back on the Bible Course section of our Web Site, because it should be done soon.