Question:
ONE OF YOUR PREVIOUS ANSWERS STATES THAT GOD DOES NOT APPROVE OF WOMEN DIVORCING THEIR HUSBANDS.AND THAT IT IS WRONG. WHAT ABOUT A MAN? ISN’T IT WRONG FOR HIM TO DO THE SAME THING. AND WHAT IF A MAN IS BEATING A WOMAN AND THEIR CHILDREN OR IS COMMITTING ADULTERY WHAT IS THE WOMAN SUPPOSED TO DO JUST LET THESE HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN TO HER. WOULDN’T IT BE BETTER FOR HER TO LEAVE HIM AND FIND SOMEONE WITH WHOM SHE COULD BE HAPPY AND THAT WOULD TREAT HER AND THE CHILDREN AS THEY DESERVE?
Answer:
The Bible is clear that neither husband or wife is to divorce the other. I Corinthians 7:10,11 says, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART FROM HER HUSBAND: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and LET NOT THE HUSBAND PUT AWAY HIS WIFE.” If the wife (or the husband) disobeys the Lord’s will, and does depart from his/her wife, then according to that passage, he/she is to remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the husband/wife.
The passage is summarized down in verse 39 once again, “The wife is bound by the law AS LONG AS HER HUSBAND LIVETH; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”
Romans 7:2,3 says the same thing, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
A woman’s protection is to obey the Lord. I Peter 3:1-5 says, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, WHICH IS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD OF GREAT PRICE. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.” I Corinthians 11:10 says, “For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.” The wise woman is determined to obey the Lord and what He says, despite any personal loss which might come her way. The reason that she dares to do that, is because she believes that the Lord will take care of her.
Notice the example of Abigail in I Samuel 25:3-42, “Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and SHE WAS A WOMAN OF GOOD UNDERSTANDING, and of a beautiful countenance: but THE MAN WAS CHURLISH AND EVIL in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. 4 And David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep. 5 And David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name: 6 And thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast… 10 And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. 11 Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be? 12 So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings. 13 And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword. And they girded on every man his sword; and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff. 14 But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them. 15 But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields: 16 They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. 17 Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for HE IS SUCH A SON OF BELIAL, THAT A MAN CANNOT SPEAK TO HIM. 18 Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses. 19 And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal. 20 And it was so, as she rode on the ass, that she came down by the covert on the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her; and she met them… 23 And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, 24 And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. 25 Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send. 26 Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal. 27 And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord. 28 I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. 29 Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. 30 And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; 31 That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid. 32 And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: 33 And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand…36 And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light. 37 But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. 38 And it came to pass about ten days after, that the LORD smote Nabal, that he died. 39 And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the LORD, that hath pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his servant from evil: for the LORD hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his own head. And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife. 40 And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. 41 And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. 42 And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.”
Abigail did what was right by feeding the man of God, David. But then she also had determined to do what was right — go back and tell her husband what she had done. She would have surely been beaten by the thug, and maybe killed. When she got back, her husband was drunk — not a wise time to tell him anything. But the first thing in the morning, when he was sober, she told him exactly what she had done. I am sure she never expected God to do such a miracle on her behalf, but He did.
A man cannot legally get away with beating and abusing his wife. God can punish that man through His ministers — police officers. Romans 13:1-4 says, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.” The man who lays hands on his wife, will find his hands bound behind his back, and thrown in jail.
The reason that we see so few miracles in unhappy, unscriptural homes, is because people (husbands and wives) are only thinking of their own rights (i.e. I deserve better than this!). That is not the way to a fulfilled Christian life — that is the way to a miserable, selfish life. Matthew 10:39 says, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” Jesus endured much that we might be saved. Hebrews 12:2,3 says, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.” He endured much shame, agony, and pain, that we might be a part of His family. We, too, must bear hardships, at times, to make our families whole, and to keep them whole.
Ecclesiastes 5:4 says, “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.” Remember your vows? “For better…FOR WORSE?” “For richer…FOR POORER? “IN SICKNESS…and in health?” Ecclesiastes 5:5 says, “Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.”
Divorce and remarriage are never the answer. The answer is to obey God — at any personal cost. Ecclesiastes 12:13,14 says, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: FEAR GOD, AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS: FOR THIS IS THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” Those are the people who are going to be the blessed in the end.