Description
This course deals with why the honeymoon ends; problems with yourself; problems with your spouse; problems with affection; problems with sodomy; problems with your children; problems with your parents; problems with your finances; and more.
Bible Study Course
Marriage
Part 6
Chapter 1
Welcome to Marriage, Part 6, in the Marriage & Family Series of the Liberty Bible Course. This study is written to be used with the KING JAMES BIBLE, otherwise your answers are going to be incorrect. Please get your Bible, and begin another exciting study in God’s Word, that just might change your life!
VII. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
1. I Corinthians 15:31 says, “I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I ______ __________.”
Note: The biggest problem in life, and in marriage is always self. The above verse does not mean that we are to literally “kill ourselves every day,” but we are to “die to self every day.” In other words, we are to THINK OF OTHERS BEFORE OURSELVES EVERYDAY.
The “honeymoon is over” in marriage, when we get tired of putting our spouses before ourselves.
The word honeymoon is defined as, “a period of harmony immediately following marriage; a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
It is sad that we consider such times as “unusual harmony,” and as “short-lived.” When the newness wears off, then the harmony flees. It is but another proof that man is not basically good, but is basically sinful and selfish.
2. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, “So ought men to love their ___________ as their ______ bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his ______ flesh; but ____________________ and ____________________ it, even as the Lord the church:”
3. Mark 10:31 says, “But many that are __________ shall be ________; and the last first.”
Note: That principle holds true in marriage, too. If we demand that we be first, then we will find ourselves last and miserable.
4. In Revelation 2:4, a church is rebuked for something, for which many spouses should also be rebuked: “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy __________ ________.”
Note: Leaving our first love for God is a very serious thing. Even though we may have other good qualities about us (like the Church of Ephesus did), God gives a serious warning about the matter.
5. The next verse says, “________________ therefore from whence thou art fallen, and ____________, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy ______________________ out of his place, except thou repent.”
The “candlestick” (the flame) of many marriages is almost completely gone out.
How do you get it back? Two things are necessary: remember and repent.
6. I Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye ________________, dwell with them according to __________________, giving ____________ unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Note: Men, do you really honor your wife now? Do you really dwell with her according to knowledge? Men, remember what you used to do when you first loved your wife? Did you open the car door for her? (What do you do now — get in your own door, and then yell at her to hurry up and get in, or you are going to leave without her?) Did you used to compliment her cooking? (Now do you complain about what she makes?) Did you used to compliment her on how nice she looked? (Now do you point out her faults?) Did you used to offer to take her out to eat where she liked to go? (Now do you demand to go where you want?).
How long has it been since you practiced these things which show that you love your wife more than yourself?
So many men speak roughly to their wives. So many men sit idly by while their wives set the table, and then later clear it. How many men will get filthy dirty while riding four-wheelers, working on cars, or doing their occupations, but they will never offer to change a dirty diaper on the baby? All of these things show the selfishness of husbands. They have lost their first love for their wives. They need to: “REMEMBER therefore from whence thou art fallen, and REPENT, and do the first works.”
7. I Peter 3:1-4 says, “Likewise, ye __________, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the ____________ ______ of the ___________, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
Ladies, is your husband still the hidden man of your heart? Do you
really still love him, or have you grown to loathe and despise him?
Note: Remember how it was when you first loved your husband? Did you gladly wash his clothes? (Do you now complain to him about how dirty he gets?) Did you delight in making him nice meals? (Do you now complain about having to slave over a hot stove?) When you were out, did you take his arm and walk close to him? (Did you know that it makes him feel loved and special to you when you take that initiative in public?) Did you try to comfort him after he spent a hard day at work? (Do you now complain when he gets home about everything that needs to be fixed around the house?) Did you meet him at the door with a smiling face and a kiss? (Do you now even speak to him when he walks in the door?) How long has it been since you practiced those things?
Husbands and wives — do you remember how it used to be? What made those times
so special, compared to now? It was that first love that you had for each other
that made the difference. You used to think of each other before yourselves.
What can you do to bring back those special times? Remember, and repent.
8. Galatians 2:20 says, “___ am __________________ with Christ: nevertheless ___ ________; yet not ___, but ____________ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the __________ of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
9. Philippians 4:13 says, “___ can do all things through ____________ which __________________________ me.”
Note: Yes, through Christ, you can practice that first love again.
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
1. An unsaved or unspiritual spouse.
a. I Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye ________________, dwell with them according to __________________, giving ____________ unto the wife, as unto the ____________ vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Note: A husband is not to use his physical strength to bully or intimidate his wife, but as a tool to honor and protect her.
This passage teaches a man to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. That takes
some study on a man’s part, because men do not automatically understand a woman’s needs.
A man’s wife may suddenly burst into tears when they are dealing with a certain topic. The husband may be totally taken off guard by the tears. The situation may not have seemed that big of a deal to him, but it proved to be very emotional to her. That shows that he did not have the knowledge about her that he needed.
The man is to give honor to his wife as the weaker vessel. That means that he is not to mock her for her tears and insecure feelings. He must lovingly show her that God is their only true security. An unsaved or unspiritual wife will not be won by a cold, mean, and callused husband.
b. I John 4:19 says, “We love him, because he __________ loved ____.”
Men, if you want God to hear your prayers and touch the heart of your unsaved or
disobedient wife, then you must dwell with your wife according to knowledge, and in honor.
Quit trying to be the strong bully, and be the loving leader that God commands you to be.
c. Saved wives are also told how to win their unsaved or disobedient husbands. 1 Peter 3:1-4 says, “Likewise, ye __________, be in ____________________ to your own husbands; that, if any ________ ______ the word, they also may ______________ the ________ be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and __________ spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
In action and in appearance a wife is to be totally reserved for her own husband, and he must know that.
Note: If a woman gets saved and starts getting involved in church, the first thing that her husband may think is that she has another man there at church that she now admires more than him. Why would he not think that? His wife gets all dressed up to go to church, and puts on some nice-smelling perfume.
A wife in such a situation needs to be extra cautious and wise. Modesty in public should always be the rule, but extra caution in this instance is very important. The wise wife in such a situation will wear little, if any, perfume when going out without her husband (like going out alone to church where her lost or backslidden husband will not go). She needs to save the perfume and the attractive little things for when she is going to be with him.
A man often treats people according to how they are dressed — and a wife
is no exception. If a wife is dressed nice and feminine, then her husband is more
apt to treat her gently and with tenderness. If a woman is dressed like a man,
then he is more apt to treat her like a man — in a more rough and blunt
fashion (See Bible Course BC-E-106 for how to dress).
Note: Remember what that verse said? “That, if any OBEY NOT THE WORD, they also may WITHOUT THE WORD BE WON by the conversation of the wives.” The word conversation means “conduct, or behavior” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary). So this is not just talking about what the woman says, but everything that she does. The wife is NOT TO USE THE BIBLE to try and TEACH or PREACH to her husband.
d. 1 Timothy 2:12-13 says, “But I suffer ______ a woman to __________, nor to usurp authority over the ______, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve.”
The godly wife must be in prayer, and trust that God will bring men along to give
her husband the Word of God. What the unsaved or disobedient husband needs is the tender,
affectionate love of his wife — that will melt his heart. A preachy wife will only harden his heart.
Just as the wife looks to her husband for security in life (her protector and leader);
even so, the husband looks to his wife for those many little things that
lets him know that she is devoted to him as his loving, faithful wife.
e. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The __________ of her ______________ doth safely __________ in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him ________ and not ________ all the days of her life.”
Note: Notice that this practice is to continue “all the days of her life.” Many wives try this Biblical instruction for a while, and then quit (it is the same with a Christian man who has a lost or disobedient wife — he tries to be a gentle, loving husband — for a while, and then he quits). Please notice that there is something more important in this matter than getting the desired response from your husband or wife. What could possibly be more important than that?
f. 1 Peter 3:4 ends by saying, “…even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of ______ of __________ price.”
Note: How will you ever continue following these instructions if weeks, months, or even years elapse, and you see no improvement in your husband or wife?
You will only continue, if you realize that you are pleasing God. The bottom line is that we are to do these things to please God, first and foremost, whether people then respond in the right way or not.
g. Revelation 4:11 says, “Thou art worthy, O ________, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy ________________ they are and were ______________.”
When we have the correct attitude (not, “Okay, well, I will try it for a while
to see if it works,” — but, “Okay, I will do that from now on because it pleases God”),
that is when we can claim some wonderful promises from God.
h. Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man’s ways ____________ the ________, he maketh even his ______________ to be at __________ with him.”
Chapter 2
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
1. An unsaved or unspiritual spouse.
2. A spouse that has left his/her first love for you.
a. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must ________ himself ________________: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
It is up to us to treat others friendly first — even those we live with who are not being kind to us.
b. Matthew 7:12 says, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to ______, do ye even so to ________: for this is the law and the prophets.”
Note: We must remember that in all of these situations in life, we are responsible to obey the Lord — whether anyone else does or not. These are not things to just try — these are things to do.
c. Galatians 6:7-9 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man ____________, that shall he also ________. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in ________ doing: for in due season we shall ________, if we faint not.”
There is a reward even greater than our spouses being kind and loving back to us,
and that is standing before the Lord one day having done as He commanded.
d. Romans 5:6-8 says, “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his ________ toward us, in that, while we were ______ sinners, Christ died for us.”
Note: Jesus was willing to suffer and die for those who did not love Him and did not treat Him kindly. How could He endure that? Because He looked ahead at a future day.
e. Hebrews 12:2 says, “Looking unto __________ the author and finisher of our faith; who for the ______ that was set before him ______________ the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Whether anyone responds favorably or properly now is not always
certain, so we, too, must look ahead, and by faith see the joy that
we will one day have because we obeyed the Lord upon earth.
f. Ephesians 4:26,27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the ______ go down upon your __________: Neither give __________ to the __________.”
Note: How does the devil ever get a place in the marriage of Christians? The next verse explains one way.
g. 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “______________ ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come ________________ again, that __________ tempt you not for your incontinency.”
Note: The word defraud means “to deprive of something by deception or fraud (synonym, ‘to cheat’)” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
The word incontinency means, “failure to control appetite for affection” (partially from Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
If you let the sun go down upon your wrath (you are upset with your spouse about something), then you will withhold affection from him/her. And when you do that, YOU are letting SATAN INTO YOUR MARRIAGE. Now Satan will try and tempt your spouse because you did not fulfill the longing for affection that he/she had.
You may be thinking, “I’ll show him/her that it is not worth it to treat me that way or to cross me!”
And while you are gloating in your power over your spouse, Satan is in the background saying,
“Yes, yes, keep thinking and acting that way, because it gives me an open door to tempt your
spouse to be immoral with someone! Oh, excuse me, but I have someone in mind
already! I hate to run, but don’t worry… I will be back!”
h. 1 Corinthians 7:3 says, “Let the ______________ render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the ________ unto the husband.”
Note: The word benevolence means “an act of kindness; a generous gift” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary). The gift in view here is further described.
i. Verse 4 says, “The ________ hath not power of her own ________, but the husband: and likewise also the ______________ hath not power of his own ________, but the wife.”
Note: Please notice here that both the husband and the wife are told to give the control of their bodies over to each other for affection. They are not to defraud (cheat each other out of affection), but to yield their bodies to each other.
Please also notice that this affection is not to be a one-sided matter, but an event in which both persons are responsive. Each is to have control of the other person’s body — not a person to be in control of his/her own.
Much error has been taught about this matter in seminars. In fact, some have taught
that husbands and wives showing affection to each other, and trying to bring pleasure
to each other, (apart from the specific purpose of conception) are committing sodomite acts.
Such false teaching does much harm to the joy and oneness of marriage. Read the passage slowly again, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
This passage does not teach couples to only come together when a child
is desired. The EXACT OPPOSITE IS TAUGHT HERE — to only abstain from each other
during times of fasting and prayer, (Scripture also teaches to abstain during monthly cycles),
— ALL OTHER TIMES they should gladly come together when either one has the desire.
How sad it is when unmarried seminar leaders try to teach married couples an unscriptural system of will worship that is exactly the opposite of what the Bible really teaches.
j. Colossians 2:20-23 says, “Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (Touch not; taste not; handle not; Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? Which things have indeed a show of wisdom in ________ ______________, and humility, and ____________________ of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.”
Note: This practice is called asceticism, and means “ practicing strict self-denial as a measure of personal and especially spiritual discipline” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
This is why monks became hermits living in seclusion (sometimes in cold, dark, damp caves); wearing rough clothing (to purposely bring discomfort to the flesh); and eating very simple and basic foods (nothing that would be savoury to the taste buds); and taking vows to never marry (never having the pleasure of a wife and children). These were all things of will worship. They thought that the more they hurt, the more that it pleased God. That is not a real worship of God, but a worship of the will.
There is a time to separate from the people and the pleasures of this world and to seek God’s face in fasting and prayer. But those are short periods of time — not the general rule of life. Fasting can easily become a matter of asceticism, if a person is not careful (thinking that God is more pleased with us in our lives if we are hurting and uncomfortable).
By the way, unmarried people do not have to teach unscriptural things about this area of marriage. The Holy Spirit used the apostle Paul to pen this passage, and Paul was an unmarried man.
If God has called you to a life of singleness, do not try and
unscripturally teach married couples to act like they are single.
Note: Why is there so much trouble today in the area of affection in marriage (even in Christian marriages), and what can be done about it? The Christian book stores are getting filled with books that are getting more and more pornographic in nature — both in the detailed descriptions of what to do, and in the pictures displayed. The answer to this problem is found in the Bible.
#1 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because of the
world-view that large families are harmful to the earth (over-population).
Note: Even Christians have swallowed the lie of the world in this matter, and have thus greatly limited their family size.
k. Genesis 1:27-28 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be ________________, and ________________, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
Note: God did not warn man about having too many children. In fact, God told man to multiply — not just to add or to keep even the present population.
l. Psalms 127:3-5 says, “Lo, children are an ________________ of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his ____________. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver ________ of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”
#1 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because of the world-view that large families are harmful to the earth (over-population).
#2 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because couples
simply do not want the responsibility and extra work of having many children.
m. Ezekiel 16:49 says, “Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister __________, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of ________________ was in ______ and in her __________________, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.”
Note: Have you ever wondered why there is no mention of the men and boys in this passage when dealing with the iniquity of Sodom? The reason is because the perversion of the men and boys was only the outward symptom of the root cause of Sodom’s problems.
The Root Cause of Sodomy:
1. The women of Sodom were idle and lazy.— They did not want to submit to God’s will to have many children, because that would be too much work. As you read through the Bible, notice how godly women always desired more children.
2. This attitude spread to their daughters.
— They also had no desire to grow up and have large families, because they, too, were idle and lazy.
3. This caused the wives to not desire affection with their husbands.
— Because that brings the possibility of more children and more work.
4. That produces an attitude where women despise their husbands in particular, and all men, in general.
— Because they all seem to be affection-loving beasts who only bring more work upon the women.
5. This causes women to have closer friendships with other women, than with their own husbands.
— They just have to talk to someone with whom they can share their concerns, and talking to other women is safe.
6. They then begin to fulfill their physical needs through those that understand them and their perspective (other women), and those that do not present them with unwanted side effects (conceiving children).
a. The result is a perverted relationship with another woman.
b. The advantages in their minds are:
1.) They share the same emotional perspectives.
2.) They share the knowledge of what brings the most pleasure.
3.) They can provide pleasure without threatening more work for themselves (children).
7. When the men are rejected by their wives, and see them forming closer relationships with other women, they follow their example and do the same with other men.
n. Romans 1:26-27 clearly shows, once again, that sodomy and perversion starts with the women, and then likewise the men pick up on it. “For this cause God gave them up unto ________ affections: for even their __________ did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And ________________ also the ______, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”
Note: In the Old Testament (Ezekiel 16:49 referring to Sodom), and in the New Testament (Romans 1:26-27), both passages say that the root cause of Sodomy starts with the women. They rebel against the God-given desire that they are to have for having children. That causes them to reject Biblical, marital affection. And what about the men? They are no different than Adam in the Garden of Eden — they are still following the women into sin. (Also see Bible Course BC-E-106 on the Christian’s Appearance, for an explanation of why men and boys started piercing their ears.)
Chapter 3
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
1. An unsaved or unspiritual spouse.
2. A spouse that has left his/her first love for you.
#1 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because of the world-view that large families are harmful to the earth (over-population).
#2 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because couples simply do not want the responsibility and extra work of having many children.
#3 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because young people
are not taught the Biblical perspective of affection in the context of marriage.
o. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is ____________________ in all, and the ______ __________________: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Note: Affection in marriage is an honorable and blessed thing — but affection outside of marriage is a dishonorable and dirty thing. One problem that arises in this matter is what parents tell their children about affection. In their zeal to keep their children pure, some parents just tell their children that intimate affection is a dirty thing. They do not make it clear that it is dirty only when it is done outside of marriage. Within the context of marriage, it is a beautiful and wonderful gift to share with each other.
If children think that affection is a dirty, sinful thing, then, even when
they get married, they are going to feel guilty for taking part in it.
Remember that it is God who made man and woman, and there is nothing sinful about the way that He made us, including the means of showing affection to each other.
p. Genesis 1:26-28 says, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; ________ and ____________ created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and ________________, and replenish the earth.”
q. Genesis 1:31 says, “And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was ________ good.”
r. Genesis 2:24-25 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be ______ flesh. And they were both _________, the man and his wife, and were ______ ______________.”
Note: Nakedness is a dirty thing if you are not married, but in the context of marriage it is a beautiful thing. God created Adam and Eve that way, and they were not ashamed. It was only when Adam and Eve sinned, that they felt uncomfortable around each other. How sad it is when young people have been mis-trained to think that affection is a dirty thing, so that they feel ashamed before their spouses one day.
Stop and think. Do you realize that in many marriages, husbands see more flesh revealed of other women on a regular basis, than of their own wives? This is not in reference to those men who are wicked in their thoughts and are viewing pornography or suggestive television or videos — this is in reference to what men see at a glance everywhere they go — women baring parts of their bodies that only their husbands should see. Men are held accountable to God to immediately turn away and not lust. But what will a wise and Biblical wife do about this matter? Go back to point #r, and re-read Genesis 2:24-25. Then notice the next verses.
s. Proverbs 5:18-23 says, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the ________ of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ________________ always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a ______________ woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the ________ of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.”
Note: The above verses first describe a very affectionate scene in marriage. In marriage, that is not a dirty scene, but a beautiful one.
The verses following that opening scene contrast it with those who are affectionate
outside of marriage. That is to be viewed as something strange (you are not to be
affectionately familiar with someone who is not your spouse); that is to be considered
as something which will bring guilt (because the eyes of the Lord are watching you);
that is to be viewed as something that is iniquity and wicked and sinful.
Note: The Bible says that a man is to be ravished with the love of his wife — but not with a strange woman. The word ravish means “to seize; to plunder; to overcome with emotion, joy, or delight” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
Sadly, in many Christian marriages, wives are not interested in ravishing their husbands.
At even such a suggestion, they are almost repulsed, and may even accuse their
husbands of being wicked in their thoughts. Such a response shows the lack
of Biblical training of young ladies by their mothers.
Many times what it shows is that their own mothers have had an unscriptural, unaffectionate relationship with their own husbands for many years. In reality, they have much in common with the mothers and daughters of Sodom.
t. Ezekiel 16:45 says, “Thou art thy ______________ daughter, that ______________ her ______________ and her children; and thou art the ____________ of thy sisters, which ____________ their husbands and their children: your mother was an Hittite, and your father an Amorite.”
Note: The word lothe means, “to detest (by implication, to reject; to abhor); to be reluctant, disinclined” (Strong’s Concordance & Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
A wife that detests affection with her husband; and that is reluctant
or disinclined to desire it, is likened unto a daughter of Sodom.
When a wife and mother does not have an affectionate relationship with her husband,
that is exactly how her daughter is going to be with her own husband some day,
other than by the grace of God. The daughter will learn by watching her mother.
Note: Now, in the reverse, do you also realize that in many Christian marriages, wives see more flesh revealed of other men on a regular basis, than of their own husbands? This is not in reference to those women who are wicked in their thoughts and are viewing pornography or soap operas all day long while their husbands are at work — this is in reference to what women see at a glance everywhere they go — men baring parts of their bodies that only their wives should see.
What should a wise, Biblical husband do about this? Go back to point #r and re-read Genesis 2:24-25.
#1 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because of the world-view that large families are harmful to the earth (over-population).
#2 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because couples simply do not want the responsibility and extra work of having many children.
#3 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because young people are not taught the Biblical perspective of affection in the context of marriage.
#4 — There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because young people
are not taught the details of Biblical affection in the right way and at the right time.
Note: When do you teach young people the details about affection in marriage? The world has decided to do it at a very young age in school. That is like teaching an eight-year-old, in detail, how to operate a car, and then telling him, “Now I better never catch you trying to drive for another eight years — until you are sixteen years old!” If that is the case, then why did you teach him the details before he needed to know them?
The world foolishly teaches their children all of the details of affection, and then wonders why they use all of that new-found knowledge at a young age. So when is the right time?
First, when a child becomes somewhat proficient at reading, get that
child on a daily Bible reading plan to read through the entire Bible.
Just reading through the Bible will give a gradual and general knowledge of affection in marriage — and a clear warning about the guilt and sin of affection outside of marriage. No one can say it better than God.
Secondly, all of the details of marital affection are to be given to the bride — not to the groom,
just before they leave for the honeymoon. In the marriage, the wife is called upon to be the follower
of her husband — not the leader. There is an exception in one area — that of affection. The wife
is called upon to be the leader and teacher in that realm. Does the Bible really teach that?
u. Song of Solomon 8:1-3 says, “O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! when I should find thee without, I would ________ thee; yea, I should not be despised. I would ________ thee, and bring thee into my _______________ house, who would ________________ ____: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate. His ________ hand should be under my ________, and his __________ hand should ______________ me.”
Note: This is NOT a joint session with the bride and the groom being taught by mother and mother-in-law. The young bride brings her new husband into her mother’s house, and he waits while mother takes daughter aside and instructs her in how to give her new husband the most wonderful gift that he has ever received, apart from salvation.
Do you know what would happen if this was actually followed? Son-in-laws would
not start off hating their mother-in-laws, but would love them! If that young man
knew that it was his mother-in-law who instructed her daughter in how to give him
such a precious gift, and to ravish his heart (both on the wedding night, and through-
out their years of marriage); he would thank God for his mother-in-law over and over
as he enjoyed the fruit of her training her daughter in the Biblical way. Oh, the strained
relationships with mother-in-laws and the frustrated marriages lacking in Biblical
affection. What we miss out on in life — all because we will not do things God’s way!
Note: The godly young lady is not going to take this lead in regard to her husband, unless she has been properly instructed by her mother to do so (that is, unless she has been reading her Bible carefully and prayerfully, and realizes this is what God wants her to do). A godly young lady will have been taught not to be flirtatious with boys, so she is going to naturally think that even when she gets married, she is supposed to wait for the man’s lead in this matter of affection. But in this case, she would be wrong.
v. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way which ______________ __________ unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of __________.”
Note: Even in well-known publications and ministries, young ladies are seldom taught their Biblical role in this matter.
Illustration: In a respected magazine on the home and raising children, a young bride’s letter was reprinted. She had been married for 3 months, and only once in that time had her husband kissed her. Her parents knew that something was wrong, because she could not keep from crying. She wrote that she was crying because she was still a virgin. (No Greater Joy, by Michael Pearl, March-April 2006, page 4)
In that article, the magazine dealt extensively with the problems of young men today, and trying to only approve of the right young man for your daughter to marry. That is an awesome task. But the sad thing is that the Biblical answer to that young bride’s problem was never addressed in that magazine article. Biblically, it was not the place of that young man to be the leader in that area on their wedding night — it was the place of the bride.
The young bride wrote that it was her mother, mainly, who had arranged her marriage
to that young man; and that her mother would be shocked if she knew that she was still a virgin.
The mother no doubt loved her daughter very much, but how shocked would she be, if she
realized that it was really her lack of training her daughter to be the leader of affection, that
was making her daughter’s life so miserable? How many other Christian young people have
kept their minds and their bodies pure — waiting patiently for their own marriage one day — only to
be disillusioned and disappointed with it all after only a short time? The answer to that, is staggering.
Just look around you. How many marriages would you rate as being very happy, and showing forth that first love? You probably do not need half of your fingers on one hand, to count such marriages that you know.
Note: There are many reasons that God ordained the woman to lead the man in this matter of affection: men can be too rough; men do not know all about the cycles of life, etc. This is not teaching that throughout the whole marriage only the woman can initiate affection. She is to take the lead in it and teach her husband, but it should become a mutual thing.
w. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says, “The ________ hath not power of her own body, but the ______________: and likewise also the ______________ hath not power of his own body, but the ________. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
If a husband and wife will obey this verse, they will have better self-control. They will find
it easier to turn away from the strangers that try to entice them. This will also translate
into better attitudes at work for the husband, and better attitudes with the children at
home for the wife. When a husband and wife are bitter against each other, that bitterness
often shows itself in dealings with other people, too. Obeying these verses will also help a
couple to get more accomplished in a day; to have better creativity; and to have higher quality
of those things which are worked on, because the mind is not daydreaming on unfulfilled desires.
x. Ecclesiastes 6:9 says, “Better is the __________ of the eyes than the __________________ of the ____________: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit.”
Note: Wife, do you consider your husband a success in his occupation? Are you being a helpmeet to him in this area of affection so that he can concentrate on work while he is at work?
y. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The __________ of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have ____ ________ of spoil. She will do him ________ and not evil all the days of her life.”
Note: Husband, do you consider your wife a success in guiding the house while you are gone? Are you fulfilling her needs for affection? Remember what was on Potiphar’s wife’s mind while he was gone to work?
z. Genesis 39:7 says, “And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s ________ cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, ______ with me.”
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
1. An unsaved or unspiritual spouse.
2. A spouse that has left his/her first love for you.
3. An unfaithful spouse to your marriage.
(please see Marriage Bible Course Part 5, for the Scriptural way to handle unfaithfulness in marriage)
Chapter 4
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
C. Your Children.
1. Putting the children before your spouse.
a. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be __________; I will make him an ________ meet for him.”
b. Genesis 2:21, 22 says, “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a __________, and brought her unto the man.”
Note: Many wives are frustrated in their marriages, because their husbands do not spend much time with the children. Sometimes, the root cause is because their husbands have built up resentment inside at them because they give more time and attention and affection to the children than to them.
c. Titus 2:4 says, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their ________________, to love their ________________.”
The woman is to be a wife first, and a mother second. If she will remember that
principle, she will find that God also honors her with help from her husband with the
children. But if she neglects her husband, and puts the children before him, she will find
that she is married to a man that is distant, and seems to have little interest in the children.
The reason is because he looks at the children as having taken away his helpmeet.
d. Genesis 25:28 reveals that Isaac and Rebekah had some marital troubles because they put their children higher than each other, at times, “And __________ loved ________, because he did eat of his venison: but ______________ loved __________.”
Note: Here is an important point to remember:
Just because a marriage was started scripturally, does not mean that it is going
to go perfectly. Marriage requires a day-by-day submission to the will of God.
Isaac and Rebekah’s betrothal was a perfect picture of submission to their
parents, and of guarding their hearts in purity until marriage. But that did
not guarantee a perfectly smooth marriage, because Isaac and Rebekah
showed partiality to their children. We even see deceitful means used
against each other to try and get the advantage with their favored child.
Note: Some parents have received harsh criticism from their married children whom they have led through Biblical betrothal and marriage (as opposed to worldly dating and marriage). The children are to be commended for keeping themselves pure and following the Biblical example, but sometimes this puts the false idea into their minds that their marriages are going to be all sweet and no problems. Just because we obey the Lord, does not mean that our lives are going to be problem-free. Remember Job’s life? He suffered greatly because he was righteous. Remember, Satan will try all the harder to destroy marriages that have come about in the right way, so that he can discourage both parents and young people from even trying to do it the Biblical way.
e. Job 1:8 says, “And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant ______, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an ______________ man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?”
Note: Because Job was so righteous, he experienced the hatred of Satan against his wealth, his family, and his health. But remember that, in the end, Job, and his family were greatly blessed.
f. Job 42:10-15 says, “And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job __________ as much as he had before. Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and __________________ him over all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold. So the LORD ______________ the ____________ end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. He had also __________ sons and __________ daughters. And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch. And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren.”
Parents and young people, do not give up doing things the Biblical way, even though
you see some who have, and have experienced great trials. Just remember Job.
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
C. Your Children.
1. Putting the children before your spouse.
2. Putting the children before God.
a. 1 Samuel 2:22 says, “Now Eli was very ______, and heard all that his ________ did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.”
b. Verses 23-25 go on to say, “And he said unto them, ______ do ye such things? for I hear of your ________ dealings by all this people. Nay, my sons; for it is no good ____________ that I hear: ye make the Lord’s people to transgress. If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall entreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened ______ unto the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them.”
Note: Eli was the high priest. He had the witnesses to prove what his sons were doing, so it was his responsibility to remove his sons from the priesthood, and judge them for their sin and rebellion.
c. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says, “If a man have a stubborn and ____________________ son, which will ______ obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will ______ hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall __________ him with stones, that he ______: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”
Note: This was Eli’s responsibility, but he would not do it.
d. 1 Samuel 2:29 says, “Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy ________ above ____, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?”
Note: We find here that Eli found a life of ease and plenty the way that things were, and he did not want to do anything that made his life more difficult (if he had his two sons put to death, then he would have had to do more work himself). So God soundly rebuked him, and pronounced judgment upon his family.
e. 1 Samuel 2:31-34 says, “Behold, the days come, that I will cut off thine arm, and the arm of thy father’s house, that there shall not be an old man in thine house. And thou shalt see an enemy in my habitation, in all the wealth which God shall give Israel: and there shall not be an old man in thine house for ever. And the man of thine, whom I shall not cut off from mine altar, shall be to ______________ thine eyes, and to ____________ thine heart: and all the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age. And this shall be a sign unto thee, that shall come upon thy two sons, on Hophni and Phinehas; in ______ day they shall ______ both of them.”
Note: Both of his sons did die in one day; in fact, he also died that very day.
f. 1 Samuel 4:16-18 says, “And the man said unto Eli, I am he that came out of the army, and I fled to day out of the army. And he said, What is there done, my son? And the messenger answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two ________ also, Hophni and Phinehas, are ________, and the ark of God is taken. And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his ________ brake, and he ________: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.”
It is easy for parents to love their children so much, that they put them before God.
They may personally compromise, for the sake of pleasing their children; or they may allow
the children to compromise and sin, so as not to upset them. That is a tragic mistake. Always put God first.
g. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye __________ the kingdom of God, and his __________________________; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
C. Your Children.
D. Your parents.
1. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Note: The word cleave means, “to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
When you get married, DO NOT move in with either of your parents. The Bible
commands you to LEAVE your father and mother, and to CLEAVE unto your mate.
There can only be one head in any home. If the young man and his bride move in with his parents, then they must be in subjection to his father, who is the head of that home. The problem with that is the young man is told to be the head of his own home. His bride married him — not her father-in-law. This will cause much resentment in the bride, and will be the source of martial conflicts for years to come.
If the newly married couple moves into the home of the bride’s parents, then they will have to submit to the bride’s father, who is to be the head of that home. That, too, will not work, because the groom will not be able to be the head of his own family, as long as he is there.
2. Ephesians 5:22, 23 says, “Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your ______ husbands, as unto the Lord. For the ______________ is the ________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
Note: If a young man cannot afford to obtain a place of his own (through purchasing or renting), then he is not ready to get married. Untold grief has been caused in marriages because a couple has moved in with their parents. There can only be one Scriptural head to any home.
Chapter 5
VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.
B. Your Spouse.
C. Your Children.
D. Your parents.
E. Your Finances.
Note: Financial problems are still said to be a leading cause of marital problems. What can a married couple do, in relation to finances, to protect their own marriage? Please see Bible Course BC-E-120 for a more detailed study of this matter, but here is a summary:
1. Be careful to give tithes and offerings to God.
a. Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Lay not up for yourselves __________________ upon __________, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in ____________, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your __________ be also.”
Note: Some young couples say, “We cannot afford to tithe.” The fact is that you cannot afford to rob God, and that is what you are doing if you do not tithe.
b. Malachi 3:8-10 says, “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have ____________ me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In ____________ and __________________. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and __________ me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a ________________, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”
c. Proverbs 3:9 says, “____________ the LORD with thy substance, and with the ______________________ of all thine increase.”
Note: You will always struggle financially, if you do not give God your tithes and offerings.
1. Be careful to give tithes and offerings to God.
2. Be careful to set aside a day to worship God.
a. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Not forsaking the ____________________ of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Note: You may be tempted to get a job where they want you to work such hours, that you will not be able to take your family and assemble together to worship God. God will not bless you if you put the making of money before Him.
b. 1 Corinthians 16:1-2 says, “Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye. Upon the __________ ______ of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come.”
c. Acts 20:7 says, “And upon the __________ ______ of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul ________________ unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.”
1. Be careful to give tithes and offerings to God.
2. Be careful to set aside a day to worship God.
3. Be careful in the hours that you work.
a. 1 Thessalonians 5:5 says, “Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the ______: we are not of the __________, nor of darkness.”
Note: The Bible uses a principle of honest and upright people (that they are out doing things during the day, not the night), to illustrate a spiritual truth. People who are out at night, are often doing sinful things.
b. Proverbs 7:7-10 says, “And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the ______________, in the black and ________ night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an ____________, and subtil of heart.”
Note: The above verse deals with a young man. Much enticing to immorality takes place in the evening and at night. Many young people who have taken evening jobs (like in fast food restaurants), have been enticed into committing sin.
Such is also the case with married men and women. Many men who work night shifts have been enticed to be immoral with co-workers, or with people who have met them on their breaks and lunch hours. They slip off into the darkness and sin together.
c. Job 24:14-17 says, “The murderer rising with the light killeth the poor and needy, and in the __________ is as a __________. The eye also of the __________________ waiteth for the ________________, saying, No eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face. In the ________ they dig through houses, which they had marked for themselves in the daytime: they know not the light. For the morning is to them even as the shadow of death: if one know them, they are in the terrors of the shadow of death.”
Note: These verses show, again, the immorality that takes place under the cover of darkness. These verses also mention the thefts that take place during the dark hours.
This is also a problem working a night shift at many businesses. There are normally less foreman’s at night, and many things are stolen from businesses by the employees.
d. 1 Timothy 6:10-11 says, “For the ________ of __________ is the root of all ________: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many ______________. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.”
Note: Some people like to work night shifts, because there is often a premium paid for doing so (they are paid a little more per hour, that those working the day shift). But is the cost going to be worth it in the end?
Many wives are lonely in the evenings and afraid at night, because their husbands
are away at work. Many marriages are miserable because of night shift work.
Why do businesses work night shifts? In the case of hospitals, the answer is obvious: people need the care. But have you ever wondered why many businesses and factories operate at night? Do the owners work the night shift? No. Then why do they run one? There is one answer — the love of money.
Rather than spend the money to add onto the factory, and spend the money to buy another machine for a worker to run during the day time, he will just start a night shift and hire a man to run that same machine at night. He thus saves money by not enlarging his building, and he saves money by not buying another machine. He is thus making more products and more money, but he is not there at night. Why? Because he wants to be with his family at night. He wants to sleep at night.
Then what he is doing is not loving his neighbor as himself, but is expecting
his neighbor to be willing to do what he is not — to work during the night hours.
e. Galatians 5:13-14 says, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not ______________ for an occasion to the flesh, but by love __________ one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy __________________ as ______________.”
Note: If you are not yet married, set some Biblical standards for the job which you will accept. Put your family before making money, and be at home at night where your family needs you.
If you are already married and have a night shift job, pray and ask the Lord to open up a job for you where you can be home in the evening and at night with your family.
“Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we
are not of the night, nor of darkness.” (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
1. Be careful to give tithes and offerings to God.
2. Be careful to set aside a day to worship God.
3. Be careful in the hours that you work.
4. Be careful to remember that the wife is to be a keeper at home.
a. Titus 2:4-5 says, “That they may teach the __________ __________ to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, ______________ at ________, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Note: If you disobey this principle starting out your home, it is going to be very difficult to start obeying it, because you are going to have bills to match a two-income home.
It is Biblical for the wife to have a home-based business, if the Lord so leads, but not one where she works under someone other than her husband.
b. Proverbs 31:10 says, “Who can find a ________________ woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
c. Proverbs 31:13 says, “She seeketh wool, and flax, and ______________ __________________ with her hands.”
d. Proverbs 31:16 “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she ________________ a vineyard.”
e. Proverbs 31:18 says, “She perceiveth that her ______________________ is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”
f. Proverbs 31:24 says, “She maketh fine __________, and selleth it; and delivereth ______________ unto the merchant.”
Note: She does not have a store, but she makes things at home and sells them to the merchant. That way, she is free at home, and is under no one’s authority, except that of her husband.
g. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your ______ husbands, as unto the Lord.”
h. Ephesians 5:24 says, “Therefore as the church is ______________ unto Christ, so let the wives be to their ______ husbands in every thing.”
i. Colossians 3:18 says, “Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your ______ husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”
j. Titus 2:5 says, “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, ________________ to their ______ husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
k. 1 Peter 3:1 says “Likewise, ye wives, be in ____________________ to your ______ husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.”
l. 1 Peter 3:5 says, “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in ____________________ unto their ______ husbands.”
A woman who gets a job outside of the home places herself in an unbiblical
position, that of having to submit to someone other than her own husband.
Note: Sooner or later, the boss is going to demand one thing, and the husband is going to want her to do another thing, and the wife will then unscripturally obey her boss to keep her job.
The husband and wife who find themselves in such an unscriptural position, need to pray and ask the Lord for wisdom how to quickly resolve financial matters and get the wife back in the home where she is Biblically supposed to be. Maybe there is a home-based business you can start to help in that need.
Whatever the case, it is Biblically the man’s responsibility to provide for the
needs for the home. That pressure should never be placed upon the wife.
m. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “But if any ______________ not for his own, and specially for those of his ______ house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
n. 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 says, “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not ________, neither should he ______. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they ________, and eat their own bread.”
Marriage Booklet 6
Final Test
When you are finished with this test, please return the entire booklet back to us for grading. When it is graded, the booklet will be returned to you, along with the next booklet. May God richly guide you and give you wisdom from your study of this subject!
1.The biggest problem in life, and in marriage is always ________.
2. The “honeymoon is over” in marriage, when we get tired of putting our spouses before __________________.
3. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, “So ought men to love their ___________ as their ______ bodies.”
4. In Revelation 2:4, a church is rebuked for something, for which many spouses should also be rebuked: “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy __________ ________.”
5. The “candlestick” (the flame) of many marriages is almost completely gone out. How do you get it back? Two things are necessary: ________________ and ____________.
6. Revelation 2:5 says, “________________ therefore from whence thou art fallen, and ____________, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy ______________________ out of his place, except thou repent.”
7. I Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to __________________, giving ____________ unto the wife, as unto the ____________ vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
8. This passage teaches a man to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. That takes some __________ on a man’s part, because men do not automatically understand a woman’s needs.
9. Saved wives are also told how to win their unsaved or disobedient husbands. 1 Peter 3:1-4 says, “Likewise, ye wives, be in ____________________ to your own husbands; that, if any obey ______ the word, they also may ______________ the ________ be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and __________ spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
10. What the unsaved or disobedient husband needs is the tender, affectionate love of his wife — that will ________ his heart. A preachy wife will only ____________ his heart.
11. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The __________ of her husband doth safely __________ in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him ________ and not ________ all the days of her life.”
12. 1 Peter 3:4 ends by saying, “…even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of ______ of __________ price.”
13. How will you ever continue following these instructions if weeks, months, or even years elapse, and you see no improvement in your husband or wife? You will only continue, if you realize that you are pleasing ______. The bottom line is that we are to do these things to please God, first and foremost, whether people then ______________ in the right way or not.
14. When we have the correct attitude (not, “Okay, well, I will try it for a while to see if it works,” — but, “Okay, I will ____ that from now on because it pleases ______”), that is when we can claim some wonderful promises from God.
15. Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man’s ways ____________ the LORD, he maketh even his ______________ to be at __________ with him.”
16. How does the devil ever get a place in the marriage of Christians? 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “______________ ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come ________________ again, that __________ tempt you not for your incontinency.”
17. If you let the sun go down upon your wrath (you are upset with your spouse about something), then you will withhold __________________ from him/her. And when you do that, YOU are letting __________ into your marriage. Now Satan will try and tempt your spouse because you did not fulfill the longing for affection that he/she had.
18. 1 Corinthians 7:4 says, “The ________ hath not power of her own ________, but the husband: and likewise also the ______________ hath not power of his own ________, but the wife.”
19. There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because of the world-view that large families are harmful to the earth (over-population). To the contrary, the Bible says, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be ________________, and ________________, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.” God did not warn man about having too many children. In fact, God told man to multiply — not just to add or to keep even the present population.
20. There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because couples simply do not want the responsibility and extra work of having many children. Ezekiel 16:49 says, “Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister __________, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of ________________ was in ______ and in her __________________, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.”
21. There is a problem with affection in marriages today, because young people are not taught the Biblical perspective of affection in the context of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is ____________________ in all, and the bed __________________: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Affection in marriage is an honorable and blessed thing — but affection outside of marriage is a dishonorable and dirty thing.
22. A wife that detests affection with her husband; and that is reluctant or disinclined to desire it, is likened unto a daughter of __________.
23. All of the details of marital affection are to be given to the __________ — not to the groom, just before they leave for the __________________. Song of Solomon 8:2–3 says, “I would ________ thee, and bring thee into my _______________ house, who would ________________ ____: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate. His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.”
24. Just because a marriage was started scripturally, does not mean that it is going to go __________________. Marriage requires a day-by-day ____________________ to the will of God.
25. It is easy for parents to love their children so much, that they put them before God. They may personally compromise, for the sake of pleasing their children; or they may allow the children to compromise and sin, so as not to upset them. That is a tragic mistake. Always put God __________.
26. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” When you get married, DO NOT move in with either of your parents. The Bible commands you to LEAVE your father and mother, and to CLEAVE unto your mate.
27. Some young couples say, “We cannot afford to tithe.” The fact is that you cannot afford to rob God, and that is what you are doing if you do not tithe. Malachi 3:8-9 says, “Will a man rob God? Yet ye have ____________ me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In ____________ and __________________. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.”
28. Be careful to set aside a day to worship God. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Not forsaking the ____________________ of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
29. Be careful to remember that the wife is to be a keeper at home. Titus 2:5 says, “To be discreet, chaste, ______________ at ________, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Are you certain that if you died today, you would go to heaven?
1. Do you realize that you have sinned?
(Romans 3:23) “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
(1 John 1:8) “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
(Ecclesiastes 7:20) “For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.”
2. Do you realize the penalty for your sin?
(Romans 6:23) “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
3. Do you realize that if you die in your sin, you will go to hell?
(Psalms 9:17) “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
(Proverbs 15:24) “The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath.”
(Luke 12:4-5) “And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.”
4. Do you realize that the Lord Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, paid that death penalty for you?
(Matthew 1:21-23) “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.”
(John 14:6-7) “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.”
(John 3:16) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
(Romans 5:8) “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
(1 Peter 3:18) “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit.”
(1 Peter 2:24) “Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.”
5. Do you realize that it is only through the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ that you can be saved, and not through any good works of your own?
(1 John 1:7) “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”
(1 Peter 1:18-19) “Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.”
(Ephesians 2:8-9) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
(Titus 3:5-7) “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”
6. Do you realize that after Jesus died for your sins, He arose victorious from the grave the third day, proving that His sacrifice was sufficient to pay for all of the sins of the whole world?
(1 Corinthians 15:1-4) “Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.”
7. Do you realize that to be saved you must repent (you must have the desire to turn from your sin and false beliefs, and have the desire for God to transform your life)?
(Luke 13:3) “I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”
(Acts 3:19) “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.”
(Acts 26:20) “But shewed first unto them of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout all the coasts of Judaea, and then to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance.”
(Mark 9:43-48) “And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.”
8. Do you realize that after you get saved, God’s first command for you is to get baptized and then to live for Him?
(Acts 2:41) “Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.”
(Romans 6:1-4) “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.”
(2 Corinthians 5:17) “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
(Titus 3:3-8) “For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”
(Titus 2:11-14) “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”
(1 Corinthians 6:9-11) “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”
(Galatians 5:19-26) “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”
(1 Corinthians 11:14-15) “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”
(Deuteronomy 22:5) “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
(Ephesians 4:22-32) “That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
9. Are you ready to now ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you of all your sins, and to save you?
(John 1:12) “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”
(Romans 10:9-11) “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.”
(Romans 10:13) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
(1 John 5:13) “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”
ATTENTION: If you die before you make this decision, then you will spend eternity in the torment of hell fire. Turn from your wickedness and sin, and humble yourself before Almighty God right now.
Bow your head right now and confess to God that you are a sinner deserving judgment. Ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you of all your sins, and to save you. Tell Him that you now repent, and ask Him to cleanse your life, and to give you the power to live for Him. Tell Him that you are trusting in His shed blood alone to cleanse you from all your sin. Ask Him to lead you to a good, Bible-preaching church, where you can follow the first command after salvation — that of getting baptized and publicly confessing your faith in Him. Ask Him to help you find some good Christian friends to encourage you in the faith and to help you grow.
If you have just asked the Lord Jesus Christ to save you, please copy this into an email with your name, so we can rejoice with you.
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#BC-E-115 @ 2006 LIBERTY GOSPEL TRACTS
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