Bible Study Course
Marriage Part 4
Welcome to Marriage, Part 4, in the Marriage & Family Series of the Liberty Bible Course. We trust that Part 3 was a blessing and a help to you. This study is written to be used with the KING JAMES BIBLE, otherwise your answers are going to be wrong. Please get your Bible, and begin another exciting study in Gods Word, that just might change your life!
IV. The Choices For Marriage.
A. Finding the right person to marry. B. Committing to the right person for marriage.
Note: We continue on in this booklet under section number four. We have covered points A and B in previous booklets. We now pick up with point C.
C. Marrying the right person.
1. Where should the wedding be held?
The Bible does not say where you have to get married. You can get married anywhere. But a Christian couple should naturally want to get married in Gods house.
Note: Where should a couple get married? In the rose garden? In the courthouse by the Justice of the Peace? At City Hall by the Mayor? At sea by the ships captain?
a. I Timothy 3:15 says, "But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the __________ of God, which is the ____________ of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth."
b. Psalm 119:160 tells us, "Thy word is ________ from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments ________________ for ever."
Note: The church is the place of the pillar and ground of the truth. We should want our marriages to have a foundation of total honesty and truth. We should want our marriages built upon the Word of God, the Bible.
c. Ephesians 5:31,32 says, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the ____________."Note: We need to remember that our marriages are to be pictures of Christs relationship to the church. So what better place to get married than in the church building?
d. I Corinthians 3:9 says, "For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ____ are God's ________________." e. I Corinthians 3:16 says, "Know ye not that ____ are the ____________ of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" f. II Corinthians 6:16 says, "And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ____ are the ____________ of the living God." While it is true that the church building is only a building, it is also true that it is a building dedicated to God. It would seem only natural that a Christian couple would want to dedicate their marriage to the Lord, and what better place than in a building dedicated to the worship of God and to the proclaiming of His Word?
Note: It is true that, technically, the church is not a building, but it is Christians.
g. I Corinthians 10:31 tells us, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do ______ to the __________ of ______."
h. Hebrews 10:25 says, "Not forsaking the ____________________ of ourselves together, as the manner of ________ is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."
Note: Most every groom and bride has some unsaved relatives or friends that will be attending the wedding. Some of those people never darken the door of a church. If the wedding is held at the church, it will at least get them inside to see what it is like; and it will, Lordwilling, get them under the sound preaching of the gospel at the wedding. When they have been to the church once, it will be easier for them to come back again next time, hopefully, to a church service. The greatest wedding present any groom and bride could have, would be to have a part in seeing a loved one or friend saved.
Note: Why not get married IN THE ROSE GARDEN? You could, but many marriages are too much like a rose garden they appear real pretty on the outside, but on the inside, in the home, they are real thorny and prickly, hurting each other.Why not get married IN THE COURTHOUSE? You could, but too many marriages end up there in divorce.
The marriage ceremony is the first thing that a married couple does together. Why not make the Lord the center of it?Why not get married AT CITY HALL? You could, but too many marriages are like the politicians in many City Halls they speak one way, and live another way.Why not get married ON A SHIP? You could, but too many marriages are already rocky and unstable without any outside help.
1. Where should the wedding be held?
2. Who should pay for the wedding ceremony?
a. Mark 7:8 tells us, "For laying __________ the commandment of God, ye hold the __________________ of men." b. The next verse says, "And he said unto them, Full well ye ____________ the commandment of God, that ye may ________ your own __________________."
Note: In the United States of America, there is a custom that the brides family pays for the wedding. Like with so many traditions that we follow, this one is opposite of the way that marriages were handled in the Bible. In the Bible, the grooms family paid for the wedding, except in one unusual situation, which we shall discuss later.
Please read Genesis chapter 24, and fill in the following blanks. c. Verse 22 shows that it was Abrahams servant who "Took a ____________ earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of ________," and placed them upon Rebekah. d. Verses 51-53 tell us what that servant did in regard to Rebekahs family when they agreed to let her marry Isaac. "Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken. And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth. And the servant brought forth jewels of ____________, and jewels of ________, and ______________, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother ________________ things."
Note: When a tradition goes against the way that things were done in the Bible, we had better carefully consider the consequences of going against the biblical pattern.
Please read Judges chapter 14, and fill in the following blanks. e. In verse 2, Samson tells his parents, "I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore ______ ______ ______ ____ to wife." f. Verse 10 reveals to us that "____________ made there a __________; for so used the young men to do."
Note: It was the grooms side (Isaacs family), that was paying out the money not the brides family.
This feast was not just a Wedding Rehearsal Supper, as is often paid for by the grooms family today. This was a feast that lasted for the whole week of the wedding. This was, in effect, the cost of putting on the wedding.
g. Verse 12 says, "And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the __________ days of the feast." h. Notice back in verse 10, "Samson made there a feast; for so used the __________ ______ to do."
Please read Matthew 22:1-4, and fill in the following blanks. i. Verse 2 says, "The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which ________ a marriage for his ______."
Note: The financial cost of putting on the week-long feast and ceremony was paid for by the young man and his family.
j. Verse 4 says, "Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my ____________: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ________: come unto the marriage."
Note: This is not just talking about handling the betrothal, but also about paying for the wedding feast and ceremony, as is seen in the following verses of that passage.
Remember that marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Jesus is the Groom, and we who are saved are the Bride. Did we (the Bride) pay anything to enter into this relationship with Christ? No. Our Groom, the Lord Jesus Christ, paid the complete price for us to be one with Him.
Note: Notice here that it was the grooms father who was preparing and paying for everything in the wedding.
k. Ephesians 5:25 tells us, "________________, love your wives, even as ____________ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." l. That same chapter, in verses 31,32 says, "For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning ____________ and the ____________." m. Isaiah 61:10 says, "I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for ____ hath clothed me with the ________________ of salvation, ____ hath covered me with the ________ of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels."
n. Please read Judges 14:11-15 again. In verse 15 they said to his bride, "Have ye called us to ________ that we have? is it not so?" o. Notice in Matthew 22:3, that the grooms side even took care of sending out all of the invitations. "And sent forth ______ servants to ________ them that were bidden to the wedding..."
Note: We would do well to note how Samsons friends (we could say, the young men who stood up with him), were offended when they thought that they were going to have to pay out a sum of money for something just to be in his wedding. They felt like they were being used.
Why does God want the man to pay for the wedding ceremony? Because the man is to provide for the home, and to lead in it. The wedding ceremony is the official start of that home. Whoever controls the money in the home controls the decisions made there. Whoever controls the money leads the home.
Note: What is said of the average wedding? It is called "HER CEREMONY." She decides everything the date, type of ceremony, church, seating, pastor, ushers, dresses, tuxes, colors, flowers, wedding party, cake, food, invitations, etc. The groom is more or less an outsider in the whole process. THAT HOME HAS STARTED RIGHT OUT WITH THE WIFE LEADING.
p. Ephesians 5:22,23 says, "Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the ________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." q. I Timothy 5:8 says, "But if any ______________ not for his ______, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."Scripturally, IT OUGHT TO BE THE MAN LEADING THE WAY. It is his responsibility to meet the financial obligations of the wedding. The groom ought to sit down with his bride, and decide the date, the pastor, the church, etc. Part of the problem here is young men who are not really ready to lead their homes.
r. John 8:34 tells us, "Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever ____________________ sin is the ______________ of sin."
Note: If you are going to start out the home with the bride leading, and the groom liking it that way, when are you going to get things right, scripturally? What kind of a precedent is that setting?
Note: The Bible teaches that it is the man that is responsible to provide for the home to start it, and to sustain it. There is no better time to start doing right, than right at the beginning of the marriage.
Note For Both Sets Of Parents: The marriage ceremony is the transition of your children from being members of your households, to the responsibility of having households of their own. Your children are now adults. It is scriptural for them to now leave your home, and be joined to their husbands or wives. It is now scriptural for parents to let go and let their children make the decisions of their own homes. The marriage ceremony is the first major event of a home; therefore, as much as is possible, let the groom and the bride plan the wedding ceremony. (This does not mean allowing your daughter to wear an immodest wedding dress, or playing Christian rock music at the wedding. Please take this paragraph in context).
If someone is unwilling to allow the man to lead at that point, then what will happen later in the marriage?
s. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
PARENTS, DO NOT TRY TO RELIVE YOUR LIFE
Illustration: Have you ever watched young children play baseball or basketball? Sometimes, it seems that the parents are more interested in the game than the children are. The children may rather be at home playing something else but the parents, for some reason, want their children playing that certain sport. It is like they are trying to relive their own childhood.
THROUGH THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR CHILDREN.
Do not provoke your children to wrath at such a wonderful and happy time.
t. Ephesians 6:4 tells us, "And, ye fathers, ______________ not your children to __________: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." u. Luke 12:53 shows what can easily happen, "The ______________ shall be divided against the son, and the ______ against the father; the ______________ against the daughter, and the ________________ against the mother; the ______________________ against her daughter in law, and the __________________________ against her mother in law."
If you have raised your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, then the planning of the wedding is going to be a wonderful and exciting time for both the parents and the couple. Exciting for the couple, because they are planning the events that will start their home. Exciting for the parents, because they watch their children make wise and godly decisions to start their homes. It is like a wonderful pay day, after years and years of teaching and training.
v. III John 4 says, "I have no greater ______ than to hear that my ________________ walk in __________."
Note To The Mother Of The Groom:
You are now at one of the most important crossroads of your life.
You are about to become one of two things either an in-law, or an out-law.
You are about to gain a wonderful daughter-in-law, or you are about to
begin a fierce battle with another woman with your son right in the middle.If the daughter-in-law gets the feeling that their wedding is really the mother-in-laws wedding (because she seems to be making all of the decisions), then their relationship is going to be strained right from the start.
The mother of the groom should allow her son to plan and lead his own home and that starts with the planning of the wedding ceremony. Mother-in-laws should not get involved in choosing colors, flowers, etc., unless asked to help by both the groom and the bride. Even then, she should give suggestions sparingly, and encourage them to make the decisions together.
Note To The Mother Of The Bride:
Remember that your son-in-law is responsible before God to lead his home.
Do not be a source of conflict for him. Allow him to start out leading his homeby making the decisions. If he feels that you are opposing him, or that you do not trust
his discernment, then you will not become an in-law, but an out-law in his eyes.
Once again, the mother of the bride should not try to relive her life through the wedding of her daughter. It may be that she has saved her wedding dress, hoping that her daughter would one day wear it in her wedding. She can offer it for their use, but then she should be silent about the matter. It may be that the groom wants his bride in her own new dress. If that is the case, then that is the way that it should be. It puts a lot of pressure upon a young couple when parents are pouting over such foolish matters.
w. Titus 2:3,4 says, "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may __________ the young women to be sober, to ________ their ________________..."
The wise mother of the bride will constantly tell her daughter to talk things over with her groom. It is time to start looking to him for leadership and answers.
Note To The Parents Of The Groom:
Sit down with the couple and be honest about how much you can afford to spendon the wedding (it would be best to show a breakdown as to what you figured
for each area; like $- - - for flowers, $- - - for tuxes, $- - - for food, $- - - for thewedding cake, etc.). That lets them know how you arrived at the cost.
After you have told them how much you have allotted for each area, then let them choose what things to buy, and pay the bills as they purchase the items. Keep track of the money that they have spent, and keep them informed as to how much money is left for each area. If they want to spend more on certain areas, then this method allows them to supplement with their own money.
Note To The Groom:
You are to always love and honor your parents, but with the planning of thewedding ceremony, you are in a transition period where you must start putting
your bride first (understand that all such relationships are under and after Christ.)Your new bride is looking TO YOU for leadership. If you need counsel from your parents,
then get it privately. But when you make the decision, do not say to your bride,
"My dad says we should do this..." Your bride is not marrying your dad she is
marrying you. Be a man of God. Spend time in prayer. Spend time reading your Bible.
Spend time talking to your bride about the decisions that need to be made.x. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
y. Mark 10:7 says, "For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and ____________ to his wife." z. Ephesians 5:31 tells us, "For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
Note: The word cleave means "adhere, cling, stick" (Merriam Websters Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
a. Ephesians 5:28,29 says, "So ought ______ to ________ their __________ as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and ____________________ it, even as the Lord the church:" b. Ephesians 5:33 says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so ________ his wife even as ______________; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Note: The groom is to always love and honor his mother, but he should not make his choice for the flowers in the wedding based upon what his mother likes, but based upon what his bride likes. He is not to choose the colors of the wedding based upon his mothers choice, but his new brides choice.
A godly young couple will sit down together and make the wedding plans. They will want to please God and each other in their decisions. The young man will be held accountable before God for the final decisions on everything that is done at that wedding.
Question: What if the groom and his parents are poor? How are they supposed to pay for the wedding?
There are two possibilities. First, the groom and the bride should be content to have a simple wedding ceremony, if that is all that is possible.
c. I Timothy 6:6,7 says, "But __________________ with ______________________ is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."
Second, others can help them out with money, if they are led of the Lord to do so.
d. Proverbs 3:27 says, "Withhold not ________ from them to whom it is due, when it is in the __________ of thine hand to do it." e. Matthew 6:3,4 says, "But when thou doest ________, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in ____________: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly."
Note: If the brides parents have been blessed of God financially, they could always send a gift anonymously to help out the groom and his parents.
Note: The word alms means, "something given freely to relieve the poor" (Merriam Websters Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
f. Philippians 4:19 says, "But my God shall supply all your ________ according to his ____________ in glory by Christ Jesus."
If the young man and his family are poor, then planning a wedding is going to be a real step of faith for them. They will no doubt be in prayer for the finances to pay for it all. If they receive a gift, and do not know from whom it came, then they will praise God for it. It will be a good lesson for the young man to learn that God answers prayer!
g. Genesis 29:20-22 says, "And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And __________ gathered together all the men of the place, and ________ a __________."
Note: There is a wedding (actually two weddings, back-to-back) in Scripture that appears to have been paid for by the brides family. The weddings were Jacob to Leah, and Jacob to Rachel.
h. Genesis 29:20 says, "And Jacob served __________ years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her."
Note: Laban (the brides father) gathered the people and put on the feast, but did he really pay for it? Remember what the first verse there says?
Note: After seven years time, who can say that Jacob had not really paid for the wedding and much more?
Also remember that it was Jacobs parents who had counseled him to go off and take a wife for himself. They foolishly gave up their rightful part in his marriage, and their son ended up being deceived by his father-in-law.
1. Where should the wedding be held? 2. Who should pay for the wedding ceremony?
3. How should the wedding party be dressed? a. Genesis 2:24,25 says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both __________, the man and his wife, and were not ______________."
b. I Timothy 2:9 says, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in ____________ apparel." c. Titus 2:4,5 tells us, "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be ________________, ____________, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
Note: There is nothing wrong with a husband and wife seeing each other, but the wedding ceremony is not the place or time for that.
It is shocking how immodestly professing Christians dress at weddings. A groom and brides bodies are reserved for each other, and should never be carelessly displayed before the whole congregation assembled for the wedding.
Note: The word discreet means, "showing discernment or good judgment; modest" (Merriam Websters Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
The word chaste means, "pure in thought and act; modest; pure in design and expression" (Merriam Websters Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
Formal wear is usually designed very immodestly. It is very difficult to find a modest wedding dress. It is also very hard to find modest formal dresses for the bridesmaids. You will probably need to hire a seamstress to do some alterations on the wedding dress to make it modest, and possibly the same with the bridesmaids dresses.
The church building is dedicated to God as a house of worship and prayer, but it is defiled by many a marriage into a house of lust as the bride and the bridesmaids bare their flesh for all to see. If Jesus were to come to such marriages, He would drive the whole wedding party right out of there!
How sad when a marriage starts right out with the bride revealing part of her body to a whole congregation of people, that only her husband should ever see. Does it not seem strange for a young man to be taking for himself a wife, and at the same time a multitude of other men are lusting after her?
d. Matthew 21:12,13 says, "And Jesus went into the temple of God, and ________ ______ all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of ____________; but ye have made it a den of thieves." e. I Peter 1:14-16 tells us, "As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former __________ in your __________________: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye ________ in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."
Note: Please refer back to Bible Course #BC-E-106, The Christians Appearance, for a complete look at what clothing is modest.
The church must also take a stand against immodesty at weddings. The church building is not to be a Community Hall for rent. The church building is dedicated to God, and built with Gods money. No one has the right to come into a church building
If a groom and bride want the blessing of God upon their marriage, then they need to make sure that they come to the marriage pure, and they also need to be concerned that their guests can attend the wedding and still have pure minds.
and display their nudity in front of a congregation.
Chapter 1, 2, Final Test Liberty Bible Course Directory