Chapter 2


II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.


A. In regard to the man.


    1. The man is to provide the home.

a. Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall "__________ his father and his mother."

Note: It is a great responsibility placed upon a man’s shoulders when he gets married, because he is to provide a home for his family. This does not mean that he cannot get married until he has a brand new home of his own, but it does mean that he is going to have to plan ahead and pray for a place to live with his new bride.

Some young men are not too mature when they get married, and they just think of staying with their parents until they get a place of their own, but that is not Scriptural. The Bible clearly says that he is to "LEAVE his father and his mother" when he gets married.

Why is this so important? Because you cannot have a home where there are divided loyalties, or you end up with a divided home.


— Read Ephesians 6:1-3, and answer the following questions.

b. Verse 1 says, "Children, ________ your parents in the Lord: for this is right."

c. Verse 2 says, "____________ thy father and mother."

d. Verse 3 says, "That it may be ________ with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

Note: This is not just talking about children when they are little, because Proverbs 23:22 says, "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is ______."


If you are living in your parent’s home, then you must

submit to their decisions (no matter what age you are),

because there can only be one leader in a home.


Matthew 6:24 says, "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and ______________ the other."

If a newly married couple stays in one of their parent’s homes, there is friction in the new marriage, or else there is friction between the couple and the parents. If they stay with the young man’s parents, the young man will be putting his parent’s wishes above those of his new bride’s. If they stay with her parents, then the new husband will not be able to take the leadership of his home in the proper manner without infringing upon his father-in-law’s leadership.

The Bible commandment is very plain: "leave your parents" when you get married, and "cleave to your mate." The word cleave means, "to adhere, to cling, to stick" (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary). Love your parents and honor your parents all of your life — but cleave to your husband or wife — be stuck to him/her like glue!

Sometimes a young man will spend many evenings at his parent’s house, instead of with his wife, or vice-versa. Visit your parents together with your spouse. Wise parents will also be very careful as to how much they drop in on their married children. You may very quickly change from in-laws to out-laws in their sight! Proverbs 25:17 says, "________________ thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee."


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

A. In regard to the man.

    1. The man is to provide the home.


    2. The man is to provide financial support for his family.

a. I Timothy 5:8 says that "if any ______________ not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

Note: An infidel is "an unsaved person."


If a Christian man will not financially support

his own household, then outwardly he has denied

the very faith which he claims to believe.


b. Jesus said, "Thou shalt love thy __________________ as thyself," in Matthew 19:19.

c. He said to the disciples in John 13:35, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have ________ one to another."

d. I John 3:17 says, "But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have ________, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?"

Note: It is clearly the man’s responsibility to make sure that the home is financially supported.

e. It was to Adam — not to Eve, that God said in Genesis 3:17, "cursed is the ____________ for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life."

f. In the next verse it states, "Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to ________ (to Adam); and thou shalt eat the herb of the field."

g. In verse 19 it continues "In the __________ of thy face (Adam’s face) shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground."

Note: It was Adam’s part of the curse of sin to have to work hard for a living. Nothing at all was said here about the woman working.


Adam’s pain and travail would be in earning food

for his family, while Eve’s pain and travail

would be in bearing children.


Note: This does not mean that it is wrong for the wife to do things in the home that may supplement the family income (more on this later in the woman’s section), but it is still the man’s responsibility to provide for the needs of the family.

Question: What about the government welfare system? A man is not fulfilling his Biblical role as a provider if he is lazy and feeding his family off of welfare.


Actually, God never planned for the government

to get involved in feeding people at all.


Who was to help out the poor? Answer the following questions to see how God wanted it done.

1. In Leviticus 19:9, God told His people, "Thou shalt not wholly reap the ______________ of thy field, neither shalt thou gather the __________________ of thy harvest."

2. The next verse tells them "Neither shalt thou gather every __________ of thy vineyard."

3. That same verse tells why, "thou shalt leave them for the ________ and stranger: I am the LORD your God."

Note: God wanted His people to help out the poor with food, but not to put it on their tables for them. He wanted the farmers to leave a little of their harvest out there in the fields, so the poor could come along and pick it up for themselves. In that way, it discouraged laziness.


The poor could have some food,

but they had to go out and work for it.


Also, it was still an incentive for the poor to be ambitious and work and buy a field for themselves, because gleaning is harder than taking the bounty of the harvest. After all, would you rather pick apples off of an apple tree loaded with apples, or would you rather pick apples on a tree where there were a few apples left in the top of this tree, and a few left in the middle of that tree? Which would be faster and easier to pick? Obviously, the tree loaded with apples.

God’s way allowed the poor to have food, but it also gave them a great incentive to get a job and provide for their families.


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

A. In regard to the man.

    1. The man is to provide the home.

    2. The man is to provide financial support for his family.


    3. The man is to cherish his wife.

cherish = "to hold dear, to feel or show affection for, to keep or cultivate with care and affection" (Merriam Webster’s 7th New Collegiate Dictionary)

— Please read Ephesians 5:22-33, and answer the following questions.

        a. According to verse 25, husbands are to love their __________ even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it.

        b. Making it very practical, verse 28 tells husbands to love their wives as their own ____________.

        c. This guarantees a high regard of his wife, because verse 29 says that no man has ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and ____________________ it.

Note: We are living in a day of much fighting and contention in marriages. The man is no doubt responsible for the situation many times, because he is not cherishing his wife.

He may treat her more like a slave than a sweetheart. He may expect her to jump up and get anything he wants at meal time; get his coffee; get his dessert; wash his dishes; wash his laundry; take care of his dirty clothes; run his errands..., and on and on the list goes.

Many of these duties are some of her primary jobs around the house, but some men never lift a finger to help her, because they are tired from working all day. What do they think about her? She has been working all day around the house, too. But she has to continue working all evening to care for the family, unless her husband is willing to help.


Men are often very selfish and thoughtless,

when it comes to helping their wives around the house.


A man ought to help his wife with the dishes after the evening meal, if there is not another household chore that needs his attention. II Kings 21:13 pictures a ______ wiping a dish — not a woman.

If a man really loved his wife as much as himself, he would help his wife finish up the household chores so they could both sit down and relax — instead of just him going and sitting down in the easy chair while his wife works all evening.

d. Colossians 3:19 tells husbands to love their wives, and not to be ___________ against them.

e. According to I Peter 3:7, husbands are also to treat their wives carefully with honor because they are "the ____________ vessel."

Note: There is nothing any lower than a man who hits his wife, or even threatens to do so to put her in fear. Let that man remember the promise of God in Galatians 6:7 that "whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also ________."

A man that treats his wife in a cruel fashion, is going to get the same back in return by others who are stronger than he, because he is rebelling against God’s commandment. Proverbs 17:11 says, "An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a __________ messenger shall be sent against him."

Illustration: This principle was shown very clearly in the case of Abigail and Nabal in I Samuel 25. Please read verses 1-38.

    1. According to verse 3, Abigail was beautiful and of a good understanding, but Nabal was "________________ and evil in his doings."

churlish = "vulgar, rude, difficult to work with or deal with, rough, harsh, ill-tempered" (Merriam Webster’s 7th New Collegiate Dictionary) (Wilson’s Old Testament Word Studies)

Note: Some men are just like Nabal with their wives, treating them roughly, and making them afraid of them.

    2. In verses 10,11, Nabal refused to give of his __________, __________, and __________ to David’s men.

    3. Abigail went ahead and fed David’s men, and when she came to tell Nabal (vs. 36), "he was very ______________."

    4. According to verses 37, 38, Abigail came to tell him in the morning, when he was sober, and she probably expected to be beaten for what she had done, but Nabal’s "__________ died within him, and he became like a stone" (unable to move), and ten days later he died.

Note: Men have a tremendous responsibility before God to treat their wives properly.


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

A. In regard to the man.

    1. The man is to provide the home.

    2. The man is to provide financial support for his family.

    3. The man is to cherish his wife.


    4. The man is to lead the home.

        a. Ephesians 5:23 says that "the husband is the ________ of the wife."

        b. According to I Corinthians 11:3, "The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the ______."

Note: It is important to note that the man is to lead like Christ leads the church. The important word there is lead. Jesus does not drive His church like cattle, but He leads them like sheep. John 10:27 says, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they ______________ me." If you are following someone, then that someone has to be in front of you leading the way.

A husband is to lead his home. He should be right there with them, and leading them in that which is right. A husband/father which tells his wife/children to go to church — while he stays home, is not fulfilling his duty of leading. He is telling them to do that which he will not do himself. A husband/father which tells his wife/children to read the Bible, but then he does not do it himself, is not leading his family. He is trying to drive his family to do something which he is not willing to do.


What a husband and/or father wants

his wife and children to be — he must first be himself.

His job is not to drive them, but to lead them.


        c. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the ______________ and ____________________ of the Lord."

Note: The definition of the word nurture is, "to further the development of; to educate." (Merriam Webster’s 7th New Collegiate Dictionary). It is the father’s responsibility to see that his children are educated in the things of the Lord. Others will help him along the way: Pastors, Sunday School Teachers, possibly Christian School Teachers, friends and relatives; but in the end, the father is responsible for seeing that the child is taught correctly. This means several things.

Number one, that the father must be in the Word of God himself. II Timothy 2:15 says, "__________ to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." If a father will not study the Word of God, then he will be guiding his children in the wrong way.

Number two, this means that the father must take the time to teach his children. Family Devotions each day is a good time to teach the children. The attention span of little children is relatively short, so the Family Devotions should take this into account. Actually, the father will find that some of the best times to teach children are through the different things that happen in a day. That gives them practical experience in what the Lord actually does.

Illustration: If you just got home from shopping, and as you were getting out of the car you heard air leaking out of one of the tires, what would you do? That is not a time to complain before the children — that is a time to rejoice in the goodness of God before the children. Rejoice? Are you joking? No.

You could say, "Children, the Lord is sure good to us. We could have had that flat tire at the store parking lot, or we could have had a blow-out as we were going down the road. God protected us, and we should thank Him for it." Psalm 92:1 says, "It is a good thing to give ____________ unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High." I Thessalonians 5:18 says, "In every thing give ____________: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

The spiritual truths that you teach your children at times like that, will stick with them much longer. Your children will see that you have more than just a Sunday Religion, but that your faith is real, and that it actually works in life.

        d. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says that we are to love the Lord with all of our hearts, souls, and might, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt __________ them diligently unto thy ________________, and shalt talk of them WHEN THOU SITTEST in thine house, and WHEN THOU WALKEST by the way, and WHEN THOU LIEST DOWN, and WHEN THOU RISEST UP."

Note: Do you see how practical those verses are? We should be teaching our children the Word of God in every way that we can; whether we are sitting, walking, lying down, or rising up. It is the responsibility of the father to make sure that it is done.

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