Chapter 3


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

A. In regard to the man.


B. In regard to the woman.


    1. The woman is to submit to her own husband.

        a. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:22,23, "Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”

        b. Colossians 3:18 says, "Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

Note: The word submit means, "to yield oneself to the authority or will of another." (Merriam Webster’s 7th New Collegiate Dictionary)


God has set up the line of authority in marriage. It does

not mean that a woman is less than a man — no more than

an employee is less of a person than his employer. It simply means

that there is a chain of authority that must be

followed to have things run smoothly.


        c. The Bible says in I Timothy 2:12-14, "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was __________ formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being ________________ was in the transgression."

Note: God has given two reasons why He has chosen the man to lead the home.

FIRST, because of THE ORDER OF CREATION. Adam was formed first, thus, by order, he was to be the leader in the home.

SECOND, because of EXPERIENCE. When the serpent came and tempted Eve, she actually believed what he was telling her. She actually thought that she (and her husband) would be better off, if they did what the serpent was suggesting — despite it was the opposite of what she knew that God had said.

        d. The Bible says, "Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall ______ surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be ________________ to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat." (Genesis 3:1-6)

Note: So Eve clearly knew the consequences of eating of the forbidden fruit. Actually, she stated that they could not even touch it, or they would die. God never said they could not touch it — only that they were not to eat of it. But despite knowing that God forbid the eating of it, after hearing the serpent, she believed that it would not only help her, but that it would also help Adam. So she gave it to him, after she had eaten it.

Adam was also wrong in eating of it. The only difference was that he never believed the serpent. He went ahead, knowing full well that it was the wrong thing to do, and that they would suffer the consequences for it.

Both Adam and Eve were wrong, but the Bible uses the situation as an example that the woman is not to lead the home, because she was so quick to doubt God, and then lead her family into sin.

Note: There are two more things to note in the above mentioned passages (Ephesians 5:22,23 & Colossians 3:18).

FIRST, the wife is told to SUBMIT TO HER OWN HUSBAND — not to anyone else’s husband. Some men get it into their heads that all women have to do whatever they say. They think that all women are to wait on them like a waitress in a restaurant. That is not at all the case.


Wives are only told to submit themselves unto their own

husbands — not to any other man. That is one of the

problems with a wife getting a job outside of the home.


The problem comes when she has a man over her at work. That man may say, "You will work this Saturday," when her husband may have said, "Let’s go visit this certain family this Saturday." Now she has a conflict. A man (her boss) is telling her to do one thing, and her husband is telling her to do another thing. Biblically, she only has to obey one man — her husband. But placed in that situation, many wives would obey their bosses before their husbands, because the job comes first in their priorities.

SECOND, those two passages show that the wife is only told to submit to her husband IN THE THINGS THAT ARE RIGHT. A woman is never to obey her husband when it means that she would be disobeying God to do so. She is to submit to her husband "as it is fit in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). A good example of this is in the case of Ananias and Sapphira.

— Please read Acts 5:1-10, and answer the following questions.

        e. Ananias and Sapphira sold a parcel of land, but kept back part of the price. Verse 2 says that Sapphira was "__________ to it," that is, she knew that they were not giving all of the money, but just a portion.

        f. Peter confronted Ananias in verses 3 and 4, and told him, "thou hast not lied unto men, but unto _______."

        g. Upon hearing these words, Ananias, "fell down, and gave up the __________" (he died). (verse 5)

        h. Three hours later, his wife came in, and did not know that her husband had died for lying. Peter asked her in verse 8, "Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, ______, for so much."

        i. Peter then confronts her with conspiring with her husband to lie to God, and then, "fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the __________" (she died). (verses 9,10)


This passage is very clear that the wife is held account-

able by God to do right — even if her husband will not.


Note: Sapphira could have told the truth and lived, but she followed her husband’s sin, and thus died. Wives must do right, even when their husbands will not. A wife can only submit to her husband as long as it does not make her disobey the Lord.

Note: What about the matter of a man who leaves the home and separates from his wife, or files for a divorce? Does the wife still have to submit to him? Please see the section on "The Termination Of Marriage" for that answer.


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

B. In regard to the woman.

    1. The woman is to submit to her own husband.


    2. The woman is to reverence her husband.

        a. In Ephesians 5:33, the Bible says, "and the wife see that she __________________ her husband."

Note: The word reverence means "to show tender devotion, self-denial, honor, acknowledging that which has a claim to respect." (Webster’s 7th New Collegiate Dictionary)


It is very important that the wife submit

herself to her husband with the proper attitude.


Sometimes you may see a child which obeys his parents outwardly, but is rebelling inwardly. You can see it in his face. The same thing can be true of a wife. She may grudgingly do what her husband asks, but you can see it in her countenance that she is rebelling inwardly.

As you look over the above definition, what you see is the word love. A wife must truly love her husband above herself. She must want to see him succeed. Some wives seem to enjoy making their husbands look like a fool. They mock and ridicule his decisions.

— Please read Proverbs 31:10-31, and answer the following questions.

        b. Verses 10,11 say of the virtuous woman that, "The heart of her husband doth safely __________ in her."

        c. Verse 12 says, "She will do him _________ and not evil all the days of her life."

        d. Verse 28 says, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he ________________ her."


The virtuous woman reverences her husband.

She does not try to make him out to be a fool,

but works hard to help him succeed.


        e. Verse 23 says, "Her husband is known in the __________, when he sitteth among the elders of the land."

Note: Important decisions were made at the gates of the city. It was where official decisions were made. It was the place where respected and revered men would be found. A wise woman will do her best to protect her husband’s name — not disgrace it.


— II. The Responsibilities Of Marriage.

B. In regard to the woman.

    1. The woman is to submit to her own husband.

    2. The woman is to reverence her husband.


    3. The woman is to be of a meek and quiet spirit.


— Please read I Peter 3:1-6, and answer the following questions.

        a. Verse 4 says that a woman is to have "the ornament of a ________ and __________ spirit."

        b. That same verse says that such a woman, "is in the sight of God of great __________" (very valuable to God).

Note: What protection is there for a woman if she cannot vocally demand her way? Her protection is from God.


If a woman will be meek and quiet, then she will be

of great value to God, and He will work on her behalf.


        c. According to I Peter 3:1,2, if a husband will not obey the word, God’s instruction for the wife is: "they also may ______________ the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."

Note: God will have someone else get the Word to him, but it is not the wife’s place to be trying to teach her husband the Bible. She will convince him that he needs to be saved by the sweet, loving, Christian testimony of her life. He will be convinced of his need, when he sees a godly life lived by his wife.

        d. I Timothy 2:11 says that the woman is to "learn in ______________ with all subjection."

        e. The next verse says that a woman is not "to __________, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

        f. Verse 13 gives one reason why, "For Adam was __________ formed, then Eve."

        g. Verse 14 gives another reason why, "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being ________________ was in the transgression."

Note: How sad it is that many women do not believe these verses. Many men who are lost could be won to Christ, and many men who are not leading their homes would take over the spiritual leadership, if the wife would take her proper position in a loving and meek spirit in the home.


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