Description
This course deals with where a couple should get married; who should pay for the wedding; how the wedding party should be dressed; what kind of music should be used at the wedding; whether it is biblical or necessary to have a reception; what guests should be invited to the wedding, and more.
Bible Study Course
Marriage Part 4
Welcome to Marriage, Part 4, in the Marriage & Family Series of the Liberty Bible Course. We trust that Part 3 was a blessing and a help to you. This study is written to be used with the KING JAMES BIBLE, otherwise your answers are going to be wrong. Please get your Bible, and begin another exciting study in God’s Word, that just might change your life!
Chapter 1
IV. The Choices For Marriage.
Note: We continue on in this booklet under section number four. We have covered points A and B in previous booklets. We now pick up with point C.
A. Finding the right person to marry.
B. Committing to the right person for marriage.
C. Marrying the right person.
1. Where should the wedding be held?
Note: Where should a couple get married? In the rose garden? In the courthouse by the Justice of the Peace? At City Hall by the Mayor? At sea by the ship’s captain?
The Bible does not say where you have to get married.
You can get married anywhere. But a Christian couple
should naturally want to get married in God’s house.
a. I Timothy 3:15 says, “But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the __________ of God, which is the ____________ of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.”
Note: The church is the place of the pillar and ground of the truth. We should want our marriages to have a foundation of total honesty and truth. We should want our marriages built upon the Word of God, the Bible.
b. Psalm 119:160 tells us, “Thy word is ________ from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments ________________ for ever.”
Note: We need to remember that our marriages are to be pictures of Christ’s relationship to the church. So what better place to get married than in the church building?
c. Ephesians 5:31,32 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the ____________.”
Note: It is true that, technically, the church is not a building, but it is Christians.
d. I Corinthians 3:9 says, “For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ____ are God’s ________________.”
e. I Corinthians 3:16 says, “Know ye not that ____ are the ____________ of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”
f. II Corinthians 6:16 says, “And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ____ are the ____________ of the living God.”
While it is true that the church building is only
a building, it is also true that it is a building
dedicated to God. It would seem only natural
that a Christian couple would want to dedicate
their marriage to the Lord, and what better place
than in a building dedicated to the worship of God
and to the proclaiming of His Word?
g. I Corinthians 10:31 tells us, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do ______ to the __________ of ______.”
Note: Most every groom and bride has some unsaved relatives or friends that will be attending the wedding. Some of those people never darken the door of a church. If the wedding is held at the church, it will at least get them inside to see what it is like; and it will, Lordwilling, get them under the sound preaching of the gospel at the wedding. When they have been to the church once, it will be easier for them to come back again — next time, hopefully, to a church service. The greatest wedding present any groom and bride could have, would be to have a part in seeing a loved one or friend saved.
h. Hebrews 10:25 says, “Not forsaking the ____________________ of ourselves together, as the manner of ________ is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Note: Why not get married IN THE ROSE GARDEN? You could, but many marriages are too much like a rose garden — they appear real pretty on the outside, but on the inside, in the home, they are real thorny and prickly, hurting each other.
Why not get married IN THE COURTHOUSE? You could, but too many marriages end up there — in divorce.
Why not get married AT CITY HALL? You could, but too many marriages are like the politicians in many City Halls — they speak one way, and live another way.
Why not get married ON A SHIP? You could, but too many marriages are already rocky and unstable without any outside help.
The marriage ceremony is the first thing
that a married couple does together.
Why not make the Lord the center of it?
1. Where should the wedding be held?
2. Who should pay for the wedding ceremony?
Note: In the United States of America, there is a custom that the bride’s family pays for the wedding. Like with so many traditions that we follow, this one is opposite of the way that marriages were handled in the Bible. In the Bible, the groom’s family paid for the wedding, except in one unusual situation, which we shall discuss later.
a. Mark 7:8 tells us, “For laying __________ the commandment of God, ye hold the __________________ of men.”
b. The next verse says, “And he said unto them, Full well ye ____________ the commandment of God, that ye may ________ your own __________________.”
Note: When a tradition goes against the way that things were done in the Bible, we had better carefully consider the consequences of going against the biblical pattern.
— Please read Genesis chapter 24, and fill in the following blanks.
c. Verse 22 shows that it was Abraham’s servant who “Took a ____________ earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of ________,” and placed them upon Rebekah.
d. Verses 51-53 tell us what that servant did in regard to Rebekah’s family when they agreed to let her marry Isaac. “Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the LORD hath spoken. And it came to pass, that, when Abraham’s servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth. And the servant brought forth jewels of ____________, and jewels of ________, and ______________, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother ________________ things.”
Note: It was the groom’s side (Isaac’s family), that was paying out the money — not the bride’s family.
— Please read Judges chapter 14, and fill in the following blanks.
e. In verse 2, Samson tells his parents, “I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore ______ ______ ______ ____ to wife.”
f. Verse 10 reveals to us that “____________ made there a __________; for so used the young men to do.”
This feast was not just a Wedding Rehearsal Supper,
as is often paid for by the groom’s family today.
This was a feast that lasted for the whole week
of the wedding. This was, in effect, the cost
of putting on the wedding.
g. Verse 12 says, “And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the __________ days of the feast.”
h. Notice back in verse 10, “Samson made there a feast; for so used the __________ ______ to do.”
Note: The financial cost of putting on the week-long feast and ceremony was paid for by the young man and his family.
— Please read Matthew 22:1-4, and fill in the following blanks.
i. Verse 2 says, “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which ________ a marriage for his ______.”
Note: This is not just talking about handling the betrothal, but also about paying for the wedding feast and ceremony, as is seen in the following verses of that passage.
j. Verse 4 says, “Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my ____________: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ________: come unto the marriage.”
Note: Notice here that it was the groom’s father who was preparing and paying for everything in the wedding.
Remember that marriage is a picture of the
relationship between Christ and His church. Jesus
is the Groom, and we who are saved are the Bride.
Did we (the Bride) pay anything to enter into this
relationship with Christ? No. Our Groom, the
Lord Jesus Christ, paid the complete price
for us to be one with Him.
k. Ephesians 5:25 tells us, “________________, love your wives, even as ____________ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
l. That same chapter, in verses 31,32 says, “For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning ____________ and the ____________.”
m. Isaiah 61:10 says, “I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for ____ hath clothed me with the ________________ of salvation, ____ hath covered me with the ________ of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.”
Note: We would do well to note how Samson’s friends (we could say, the young men who stood up with him), were offended when they thought that they were going to have to pay out a sum of money for something just to be in his wedding. They felt like they were being used.
n. Please read Judges 14:11-15 again. In verse 15 they said to his bride, “Have ye called us to ________ that we have? is it not so?”
o. Notice in Matthew 22:3, that the groom’s side even took care of sending out all of the invitations. “And sent forth ______ servants to ________ them that were bidden to the wedding…”
Why does God want the man to pay for the wedding ceremony?
Because the man is to provide for the
home, and to lead in it. The wedding ceremony is the
official start of that home. Whoever controls the money
in the home — controls the decisions made there.
Whoever controls the money — leads the home.
Note: What is said of the average wedding? It is called “HER CEREMONY.” She decides everything — the date, type of ceremony, church, seating, pastor, ushers, dresses, tuxes, colors, flowers, wedding party, cake, food, invitations, etc. The groom is more or less an outsider in the whole process. THAT HOME HAS STARTED RIGHT OUT WITH THE WIFE LEADING.
Scripturally, IT OUGHT TO BE THE MAN LEADING THE WAY. It is his responsibility to meet the financial obligations of the wedding. The groom ought to sit down with his bride, and decide the date, the pastor, the church, etc. Part of the problem here is young men who are not really ready to lead their homes.
p. Ephesians 5:22,23 says, “Wives, ____________ yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the ________ of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
q. I Timothy 5:8 says, “But if any ______________ not for his ______, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
Note: If you are going to start out the home with the bride leading, and the groom liking it that way, when are you going to get things right, scripturally? What kind of a precedent is that setting?
r. John 8:34 tells us, “Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever ____________________ sin is the ______________ of sin.”
Note: The Bible teaches that it is the man that is responsible to provide for the home — to start it, and to sustain it. There is no better time to start doing right, than right at the beginning of the marriage.
If someone is unwilling to allow the man to lead at that point, then what will happen later in the marriage?
Note For Both Sets Of Parents:
The marriage ceremony is the transition of your children from being members of your households, to the responsibility of having households of their own. Your children are now adults. It is scriptural for them to now leave your home, and be joined to their husbands or wives. It is now scriptural for parents to let go and let their children make the decisions of their own homes. The marriage ceremony is the first major event of a home; therefore, as much as is possible, let the groom and the bride plan the wedding ceremony. (This does not mean allowing your daughter to wear an immodest wedding dress, or playing Christian rock music at the wedding. Please take this paragraph in context).
s. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Illustration: Have you ever watched young children play baseball or basketball? Sometimes, it seems that the parents are more interested in the game than the children are. The children may rather be at home playing something else — but the parents, for some reason, want their children playing that certain sport. It is like they are trying to relive their own childhood.
PARENTS, DO NOT TRY TO RELIVE YOUR LIFE
THROUGH THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR CHILDREN.
Do not provoke your children to wrath at such a wonderful and happy time.
t. Ephesians 6:4 tells us, “And, ye fathers, ______________ not your children to __________: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
u. Luke 12:53 shows what can easily happen, “The ______________ shall be divided against the son, and the ______ against the father; the ______________ against the daughter, and the ________________ against the mother; the ______________________ against her daughter in law, and the __________________________ against her mother in law.”
If you have raised your children in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord, then the planning of the
wedding is going to be a wonderful and exciting
time for both the parents and the couple.
Exciting for the couple, because they are planning
the events that will start their home. Exciting for the
parents, because they watch their children make wise
and godly decisions to start their homes. It is like
a wonderful pay day, after years and years of
teaching and training.
v. III John 4 says, “I have no greater ______ than to hear that my ________________ walk in __________.”
Note To The Mother Of The Groom:
You are now at one of the most important crossroads of your life.
You are about to become one of two things — either an in-law, or an out-law.
You are about to gain a wonderful daughter-in-law, or you are about to
begin a fierce battle with another woman — with your son right in the middle.
If the daughter-in-law gets the feeling that their
wedding is really the mother-in-law’s wedding
(because she seems to be making all of the decisions),
then their relationship is going to be strained
right from the start.
The mother of the groom should allow her son to plan and lead his own home — and that starts with the planning of the wedding ceremony. Mother-in-laws should not get involved in choosing colors, flowers, etc., unless asked to help by both the groom and the bride. Even then, she should give suggestions sparingly, and encourage them to make the decisions together.
Note To The Mother Of The Bride:
Remember that your son-in-law is responsible before God to lead his home.
Do not be a source of conflict for him. Allow him to start out leading his home
by making the decisions. If he feels that you are opposing him, or that you do not trust
his discernment, then you will not become an in-law, but an out-law in his eyes.
Once again, the mother of the bride should not try to relive her life through the wedding of her daughter. It may be that she has saved her wedding dress, hoping that her daughter would one day wear it in her wedding. She can offer it for their use, but then she should be silent about the matter. It may be that the groom wants his bride in her own new dress. If that is the case, then that is the way that it should be. It puts a lot of pressure upon a young couple when parents are pouting over such foolish matters.
The wise mother of the bride will constantly tell her daughter to talk things over with her groom. It is time to start looking to him for leadership and answers.
w. Titus 2:3,4 says, “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may __________ the young women to be sober, to ________ their ________________…”
Note To The Parents Of The Groom:
Sit down with the couple and be honest about how much you can afford to spend
on the wedding (it would be best to show a breakdown as to what you figured
for each area; like $– – – for flowers, $– – – for tuxes, $– – – for food, $– – – for the
wedding cake, etc.). That lets them know how you arrived at the cost.
After you have told them how much you have allotted for each area, then let them choose what things to buy, and pay the bills as they purchase the items. Keep track of the money that they have spent, and keep them informed as to how much money is left for each area. If they want to spend more on certain areas, then this method allows them to supplement with their own money.
Note To The Groom:
You are to always love and honor your parents, but with the planning of the
wedding ceremony, you are in a transition period where you must start putting
your bride first (understand that all such relationships are under and after Christ.)
Your new bride is looking TO YOU for leadership. If you need counsel from your parents,
then get it privately. But when you make the decision, do not say to your bride,
“My dad says we should do this…” Your bride is not marrying your dad — she is
marrying you. Be a man of God. Spend time in prayer. Spend time reading your Bible.
Spend time talking to your bride about the decisions that need to be made.
x. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Note: The word cleave means “adhere, cling, stick” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
y. Mark 10:7 says, “For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and ____________ to his wife.”
z. Ephesians 5:31 tells us, “For this cause shall a man __________ his father and mother, and shall be ____________ unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
Note: The groom is to always love and honor his mother, but he should not make his choice for the flowers in the wedding based upon what his mother likes, but based upon what his bride likes. He is not to choose the colors of the wedding based upon his mother’s choice, but his new bride’s choice.
a. Ephesians 5:28,29 says, “So ought ______ to ________ their __________ as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and ____________________ it, even as the Lord the church:”
b. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so ________ his wife even as ______________; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
A godly young couple will sit down together
and make the wedding plans. They will want to please
God and each other in their decisions. The young man
will be held accountable before God for the final
decisions on everything that is done at that wedding.
Question: What if the groom and his parents are poor? How are they supposed to pay for the wedding?
There are two possibilities. First, the groom and the bride should be content to have a simple wedding ceremony, if that is all that is possible.
Second, others can help them out with money, if they are led of the Lord to do so.
c. I Timothy 6:6,7 says, “But __________________ with ______________________ is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”
Note: If the bride’s parents have been blessed of God financially, they could always send a gift anonymously to help out the groom and his parents.
d. Proverbs 3:27 says, “Withhold not ________ from them to whom it is due, when it is in the __________ of thine hand to do it.”
e. Matthew 6:3,4 says, “But when thou doest ________, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in ____________: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”
Note: The word alms means, “something given freely to relieve the poor” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
If the young man and his family are poor, then planning a wedding is going to be a real step of faith for them. They will no doubt be in prayer for the finances to pay for it all. If they receive a gift, and do not know from whom it came, then they will praise God for it. It will be a good lesson for the young man to learn — that God answers prayer!
f. Philippians 4:19 says, “But my God shall supply all your ________ according to his ____________ in glory by Christ Jesus.”
Note: There is a wedding (actually two weddings, back-to-back) in Scripture that appears to have been paid for by the bride’s family. The weddings were Jacob to Leah, and Jacob to Rachel.
g. Genesis 29:20-22 says, “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And __________ gathered together all the men of the place, and ________ a __________.”
Note: Laban (the bride’s father) gathered the people and put on the feast, but did he really pay for it? Remember what the first verse there says?
h. Genesis 29:20 says, “And Jacob served __________ years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.”
Note: After seven year’s time, who can say that Jacob had not really paid for the wedding and much more?
Also remember that it was Jacob’s parents who had counseled him to go off and take a wife for himself. They foolishly gave up their rightful part in his marriage, and their son ended up being deceived by his father-in-law.
1. Where should the wedding be held?
2. Who should pay for the wedding ceremony?
3. How should the wedding party be dressed?
a. Genesis 2:24,25 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both __________, the man and his wife, and were not ______________.”
Note: There is nothing wrong with a husband and wife seeing each other, but the wedding ceremony is not the place or time for that.
It is shocking how immodestly professing Christians dress at weddings. A groom and bride’s bodies are reserved for each other, and should never be carelessly displayed before the whole congregation assembled for the wedding.
b. I Timothy 2:9 says, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in ____________ apparel.”
c. Titus 2:4,5 tells us, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be ________________, ____________, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Note: The word discreet means, “showing discernment or good judgment; modest” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
The word chaste means, “pure in thought and act; modest; pure in design and expression” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
Formal wear is usually designed very immodestly. It is very difficult to find a modest wedding dress. It is also very hard to find modest formal dresses for the bridesmaids. You will probably need to hire a seamstress to do some alterations on the wedding dress to make it modest, and possibly the same with the bridesmaids’ dresses.
How sad when a marriage starts right out with the bride revealing part of her body to a whole congregation of people, that only her husband should ever see. Does it not seem strange for a young man to be taking for himself a wife, and at the same time a multitude of other men are lusting after her?
The church building is dedicated to God
as a house of worship and prayer, but it is defiled
by many a marriage into a house of lust as the bride
and the bridesmaids bare their flesh for all to see.
If Jesus were to come to such marriages, He would
drive the whole wedding party right out of there!
d. Matthew 21:12,13 says, “And Jesus went into the temple of God, and ________ ______ all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of ____________; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”
e. I Peter 1:14-16 tells us, “As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former __________ in your __________________: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye ________ in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”
Note: Please refer back to Bible Course #BC-E-106, The Christian’s Appearance, for a complete look at what clothing is modest.
If a groom and bride want the blessing of God upon their marriage, then they need to make sure that they come to the marriage pure, and they also need to be concerned that their guests can attend the wedding and still have pure minds.
The church must also take a stand against immodesty at weddings.
The church building is not to be a Community Hall
for rent. The church building is dedicated
to God, and built with God’s money.
No one has the right to come into a church building
and display their nudity in front of a congregation.
Chapter 2
IV. The Choices For Marriage.
1. Where should the wedding be held?
2. Who should pay for the wedding ceremony?
3. How should the wedding party be dressed?
4. What should the music be at a wedding?
Note: The music at a Christian’s wedding should be like the music in his or her life all of the time — psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.
a. Ephesians 5:19 says, “Speaking to yourselves in psalms and __________ and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.”
b. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and __________ and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
It is foolish to think that a Christian couple’s wedding
can be more romantic using worldly love songs,
rather than psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.
A groom and bride will never be more close and
loving to each other, than when they are
putting the Lord first in their lives.
Worldly songs will lead to worldly lust.
c. I John 4:16 tells us, “And we have known and believed the ________ that God hath to ____. ______ is ________; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”
d. Romans 5:8 says, “But ______ commendeth his ________ toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
e. Ephesians 5:2 tells us, “And walk in ________, as ____________ also hath ___________ us.”
f. Ephesians 5:25 says, “________________, ________ your wives, even as ____________ also __________ the church, and gave himself for it.”
Note: How sad when a young couple thinks that to get into a romantic mood for their wedding and honeymoon, they need to have worldly love songs sung to them.
Worldly love only seeks to gratify a person’s own flesh.
That means trouble and selfishness ahead for that
marriage. God’s love in a person seeks the
fulfillment of the other person — not self.
There is no greater joy and fulfillment than to know that you are bringing joy and pleasure to the one that you love.
g. Acts 20:35 tells us, “Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to ________ than to ______________.”
h. Revelation 4:11 says, “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy ________________ they are and were created.”
i. I Corinthians 7:3-5 says, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not __________ of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not __________ of his own body, but the wife. ______________ ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
Note: The word defraud means, “to deprive of something.” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary). When a person starts thinking of himself or herself, instead of his or her mate, then the honeymoon is definitely over. We should think of our mate’s needs — not our own. That is true love.
j. Revelation 2:4 says, “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy __________ ________.”
k. I Corinthians 13:4,5 says, “______________ suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity ________________ not ____________, is not puffed up, Doth not ____________ itself unseemly, seeketh not her ______.”
Note: You will notice that the word charity is used in that passage — not the word love. There is a good reason for its use here in this chapter that defines love. True love is a love that gives, expecting nothing in return. That is what charity is. When you give to charity, then you expect nothing in return. In the same way, true love is not selfish — it thinks of the other person — not self.
The word vaunt means, “to make a vain display of one’s own worth” (Merriam Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary). A marriage relationship like that is going to experience a lot of trouble.
The definition is summed up in that last verse by saying that charity “seeketh not her own.” That is, love seeks the well-being and pleasure of the other person — not self.
Hymns played and sung at a wedding will remind a couple of what real love is. Worldly songs played at a wedding will only get the couple in the world’s self-gratifying mood.
The wedding ceremony is the couple’s first
chance to minister as a family.
Remember, while the groom and bride
are busily involved in a multitude of things,
the guests are doing a lot of waiting.
If the couple has arranged to have psalms, hymns,
and spiritual songs played for their guests as they
wait for the ceremony to begin; and then during
the ceremony; and then also afterwards as
the guests are waiting to be dismissed; it will
have a spiritual impact upon their guests.
Note: Some will no doubt say, “Come on! It is the couple’s special time — it isn’t supposed to be a church service!”
Sad to say, many do look at a wedding in that way. They are not concerned about the souls of men first, but about their own glory at that moment. Because of that, they will experience an emptiness in the end, while those that put God first will experience a joy and fulfillment.
l. I Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or ____________________ ye do, do ______ to the glory of ______.”
m. Psalm 106:15 says, “And he gave them their request; but sent ________________ into their soul.”
n. Matthew 6:33 tells us, “But seek ye __________ the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
The bottom line is this for young couples —
put God first at your wedding ceremony.
Do everything that you can to use the ceremony
to glorify God and bring souls to Him.
Note: God can then put His hand upon your honeymoon and marriage and give you joy and pleasure that you never dreamed!
o. Psalm 37:4 says, “______________ thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the ______________ of thine heart.”
p. Psalm 16:11 tells us, “Thou wilt show me the path of life: in thy presence is ______________ of joy; at thy right hand there are __________________ for evermore.”
Illustration: A pastor carefully observed a couple’s plans, and then the fulfillment of their wedding. Hymns were played for the guests as they waited for the wedding to start. All special music during the ceremony was hymns. They requested that the pastor give a clear gospel message. The guests also listened to hymns as they were dismissed. At that wedding, people indicated that they received Jesus Christ as their Savior. That couple was overflowing with joy when they left for their honeymoon!
Note: Start right out in your marriage by putting God first in the wedding ceremony. If you put God first, He will give you fulness of joy. For further information on what is proper Christian music, please see the Bible Course on the subject of Music (#BC-E-108).
1. Where should the wedding be?
2. Who should pay for the ceremony?
3. How should the wedding party be dressed?
4. What should the music be at a wedding?
5. What should the reception be like at a wedding?
Question: Some may ask the question, “Is it really necessary to have a wedding reception? Is it really necessary to provide food and refreshments for the guests that come to the ceremony? After all, doesn’t a wedding cost enough for the tuxes, wedding dress, flowers, decorations, etc., without having to feed all of people who come?”
The Bible answer and example is, “Yes, it is proper
to show hospitality and feed the guests that come.”
Jesus attended a wedding at Cana, and it was a very embarrassing situation for the host family, when they ran out of grape juice.
a. John 2:1-3 says, “And the third day there was a ______________ in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no ________.”
Note: The word wine is a generic term in the Bible for products of the vine (grapes, grapejuice, raisins, etc.). The context has to be studied to determine whether the Bible is talking about grapejuice or alcohol. At this wedding, the wine was clearly grapejuice. To see all the reasons why, please see the Bible Course on Drinking Alcoholic Beverages (#BC-E-109).
In a previous booklet dealing with marriage, we have already looked at the passage where the king prepared a marriage for his son, and we have seen that he prepared food for the guests.
b. Matthew 22:4 says, “Behold, I have ________________ my ____________: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage.”
Note: In the Bible, it was always a sign of hospitality to feed your guests.
c. When the Lord and two angels appeared unto Abraham, the first thing that he did was offer to feed and refresh them. Genesis 18:4,5 says, “Let a little __________, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree: And I will fetch a morsel of __________, and comfort ye your hearts.”
d. For another good example of hospitality, please read Judges 19:16-21, and fill in the following blanks.
1.) Verse 17 says, “And when he had lifted up his eyes, he saw a __________________ man in the street.”
2.) Verse 20 says, “And the old man said, Peace be with thee; howsoever let all thy ___________ lie upon me.”
3.) Verse 21 shows us, “So he brought him into his house, and gave provender unto the asses: and they washed their feet, and did _______ and ___________.”
Some people at the wedding will probably be like the wayfaring man —
coming from a distance away. If they travel
from their homes to honor the young couple at their
wedding, the hospitable thing to do is to feed and
refresh them before they go on their way back home.
Note: It is not cheap to feed a whole army of guests, but it does not have to be an elaborate meal. Some simple refreshments for your guests will show your hospitality, and will let them know that you appreciate them coming to the wedding.
Actually, we get out of things much more cheaply today, because our wedding celebrations are very short. In Bible times, the wedding celebration and feast lasted for a whole week!
e. At Samson’s wedding, in Judges 14:12 we read, “And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the __________ days of the __________ …”
f. In that same chapter, verse 17, we read, “And she wept before him the __________ days, while their __________ lasted.”
g. Genesis 29 gives us a glimpse of Jacob’s wedding where he was tricked into marrying Leah. We read in verses 26 and 27, “And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfil her ________, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.”
Note: It is following the Biblical example to provide food and refreshments for the guests that come to the wedding. If we obey the Bible example, God will bless and provide for our needs to be able to do so.
It is interesting to note that when the hosts ran out of grapejuice
at the wedding Jesus attended in Cana,
that He did indeed provide for them, so that they
could be the proper hosts to their guests.
h. Philippians 4:19 says, “But my God shall ____________ all your ________ according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
i. Mark 9:41 tells us, “For whosoever shall give you a cup of __________ to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his ____________.”
Note: If the Bible example is to feed the guests at a wedding, then there will be a reward for obeying that example.
If there is music played at the reception, it should be exactly what we covered in the last section — psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19).
Obviously, drinking liquor and lustful dancing
should not a be part of any Christian’s wedding.
Please refer to the Bible Course on Drinking Alcoholic Beverages (#BC-E-109). Drinking and dancing are common partners in sin.
1. Where should the wedding be?
2. Who should pay for the ceremony?
3. How should the wedding party be dressed?
4. What should the music be at a wedding?
5. What should the reception be like at a wedding?
6. What guests should be invited to the wedding?
Note: The invitation should be open for all who want to come to the wedding, unless there is immorality involved, then a private ceremony would be in order.
Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church, and He invites all to be saved.
a. Matthew 22:2 says, “The kingdom of ____________ is like unto a certain king, which made a ______________ for his son.”
Note: There are so many similarities between marriage and salvation, that the Bible illustrates the kingdom of heaven by giving the story of a marriage.
Young couples miss a wonderful opportunity to give
people a chance to hear the gospel and be saved,
when they limit the wedding to certain guests only.
b. II Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that ______ should perish, but that ______ should come to ____________________.”
c. Revelation 22:17 says, “And the Spirit and the __________ say, ________. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And __________________ will, let him take the water of life freely.”
Note: It is not uncommon to hear of some sort of feud going on in families today — especially with the amount of broken homes. Divorce and remarriage situations make wedding ceremonies especially difficult for the young couple, as ex-husbands and ex-wives have to appear in the same building and in the same pictures.
Parents should not put pressure on the young couple
to exclude someone from being invited, just because
it is going to make them (the parents) uncomfortable.
Their wedding can be the turning point for some
lost sinner or wayward Christian, if all are welcome.
This is a good reason why the wedding should be held in the church, and that the couple should request that the pastor preach a gospel message to the guests who come. What greater joy could a young couple have, than to see some lost sinner saved, or to see a backslidden Christian restored to fellowship with the Lord at their own wedding? It may very well be the biggest chance of a lifetime for the couple to reach so many people at one time.
Illustration: The pastor mentioned previously, was asked by his son to preach the gospel at his wedding. The pastor did, and some time later learned an exciting result. A couple that came to the wedding just happened to have a grandson visiting with them from England, and so he came along with them to the wedding. That grandson later told his grandmother that he had received Christ as his Savior. When the grandmother asked him when he had made that decision, he told her that he had prayed and received the Lord Jesus at the wedding.
Imagine that! A boy came all the way from England
to visit his grandparents, and was saved
in a wedding ceremony in the United States, all because a young
couple wanted the gospel preached, and an invitation
to be given at their wedding. If the wedding invitation
had not been open for all to come, then that young
man would not have been able to come
to the wedding and get saved.
Question: Does this mean that it is wrong to have people RSVP to the wedding?
There is nothing wrong with requesting that people
RSVP, to help you plan approximately how much
food to prepare. But the invitation should make
it clear that all are welcome to come.
d. Hebrews 12:13-15 reminds us, “And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be ____________. Follow __________ with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of ____________________ springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”
e. Ephesians 4:30-32 tells us, “And ____________ not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all ____________________, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye ________ one to another, tenderhearted, __________________ one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Do not use a wedding as a time to further bitterness
in the family or between friends. Let God use it
as a time to save sinners, and to heal wounds.
Final Test
Marriage Part 4
When you are finished with this test, please return the entire booklet back to us for grading. When it is graded, the booklet will be returned to you, along with the next booklet on marriage. May God richly guide you and give you wisdom from your study of this subject!
1. The Bible does not say where you have to get married. You can get married anywhere. But a Christian couple should naturally want to get married in God’s __________.
2. The church is the place of the pillar and ground of the __________. We should want our marriages to have a foundation of total honesty and truth.
3. We also need to remember that our marriages are to be a picture of Christ’s relationship to the ____________. So what better place to get married than in the church building?
4. While it is true that the church building is only a building, it is also true that it is a building dedicated to ______.
5. In the Bible, the ______________ family paid for the wedding.
6. Remember that marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Jesus is the __________, and we who are saved are the __________. Did we (the Bride) pay anything to enter into this relationship with Christ? No. Our Groom, the Lord Jesus Christ, paid the complete price for us to be one with Him.
7. Why does God want the man to pay for the wedding ceremony? Because the man is to provide for the home, and to lead in it. The wedding ceremony is the official start of that home. Whoever controls the money in the home — controls the decisions made there. Whoever controls the money — __________ the home.
8. If you are going to start out the home with the bride leading, and the groom liking it that way, ________ are you going to get things right, scripturally?
9. An important note to both sets of parents is that the marriage ceremony is the ____________________ of your children from being members of your households, to the responsibility of having households of their own. The marriage ceremony is the first thing that they will do together. Therefore, as much as is possible, let them plan the wedding themselves.
10. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man __________ his father and his mother, and shall ____________ unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
11. Parents should not try to ____________ their lives through their children’s marriages. If they do, they will end up provoking their children to wrath.
12. If the daughter-in-law gets the feeling that their wedding is really the mother-in-law’s wedding (because she seems to be making all of the __________________), then their relationship is going to be strained right from the start.
13. The mother of the bride needs to remember that her son-in-law is responsible before God to ________ his home. Therefore, she should be careful not to be a source of conflict for him.
14. The groom is always to love and honor his parents, but with the planning of the wedding, he is in a transition period where he must start putting his __________ first (under and after Christ).
15. A godly young couple will sit down ________________ and make the wedding plans.
16. What if the groom and his parents are poor? How are they supposed to pay for the wedding? There are two possibilities. First, the groom and bride should be ______________ to have a simple wedding ceremony, if that is all that is possible. Second, others can help them out with money, if they wish to do so.
17. I Timothy 6:6,7 says, “But godliness with ____________________ is great gain.”
18. A groom and bride’s bodies are reserved for each other, and should never be carelessly displayed before the whole ________________________ assembled for the wedding.
19. The church building is dedicated to God as a house of worship and prayer, but it is defiled by many a marriage into a house of ________ as the bride and the bridesmaids bare their flesh for all to see. If Jesus were to come to such marriages, He would drive the whole wedding party right out of there!
20. It is foolish to think that a Christian couple’s wedding can be more romantic using ______________ love songs, rather than psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. A groom and bride will never be more close and loving to each other, than when they are putting the Lord first in their lives. Worldly songs will lead to worldly lust.
21. The wedding ceremony is the couple’s first chance to minister as a family. Remember, while the groom and bride are busily involved in a multitude of things, the guests are doing a lot of waiting. If the couple has arranged to have psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs played for their guests as they wait for the ceremony to begin; and then during the ceremony; and then also afterwards as the guests are waiting to be dismissed; it will have a ____________________ impact upon their guests.
22. In the Bible, it was always a sign of ______________________ to feed your guests.
23. Some people at the wedding will probably be like the wayfaring man — from a distance away. If they travel from their homes to honor the young couple at their wedding, the hospitable thing to do is to ________ and refresh them before they go on their way back home.
24. Obviously, drinking ____________ and lustful dancing should not a be part of any Christian’s wedding.
25. Young couples miss a wonderful opportunity to give people a chance to hear the gospel and be saved, when they limit the wedding to certain ____________ only.
26. There is nothing wrong with requesting that people RSVP, to help you plan approximately how much food to prepare. But the invitation should make it clear that all are ______________ to come.
27. Do not use a wedding as a time to further ____________________ in the family or between friends. Let God use it as a time to save sinners, and to heal wounds.
How The Bible Says You Can Be Saved
1. Do you realize that you have sinned? (Rom. 3:23) (I John 1:8)
2. Do you realize the penalty for your sin? (Rom. 6:23)
3. Do you realize that if you die in your sin, you will go to hell? (Psa. 9:17) (Prov. 15:24) (Luke 12:4,5)
4. Do you realize that the Lord Jesus Christ paid that death penalty for you? (Rom. 5:8) (I Pet. 3:18) (I Pet. 2:24)
5. Do you realize that it is only through the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ that you can be saved, and not through any good works of your own? (I John 1:7) (I Pet. 1:18,19) (Eph. 2:8,9) (Titus 3:5-7)
6. Do you realize that after Jesus died for your sins, He arose victorious from the grave the third day, proving that His sacrifice was sufficient to pay for all of the sins of the whole world? (I Cor. 15:1-4)
7. Do you realize that to be saved you must repent (you must have the desire to turn from your sin and false beliefs, and for the Lord Jesus Christ to cleanse you from all your sin)? (Luke 13:3) (Acts 3:19) (Acts 26:20)
8. Do you realize that after you get saved, God’s first command for you is for you to get baptized and then to live for Him? (Acts 2:41) (II Cor. 5:17)
9. Are you ready to now pray and ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you of all your sins, and to save you? (John 1:12) (Rom. 10:13) (I John 5:13)
* If you are, then bow your head right now and confess to God that you are a sinner deserving judgment. Ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you of all your sins, and to save you. Ask Him to cleanse your life, and to give you the power to live for Him. Ask Him to lead you to a good, Bible-preaching church, where you can follow the first command after salvation — that of getting baptized and publicly confessing your faith in Him. Ask Him to help you find some good Christian friends to encourage you in the faith and to help you grow.
q — I have just asked the Lord Jesus Christ to save me.
________________________________________________
(sign name here)
________________________________________________
(date)
* If you have just received the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please write to us at the address below,
or copy this page and send it to us via email, so that we may rejoice with you.
#BC-E-113 @ 1999, 2003 LIBERTY GOSPEL TRACTS
This Bible Study Course may be printed off for personal study, but cannot be printed in quantity
and distributed without prior written permission from Liberty Gospel Tracts.
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