Bible Study Course

Marriage

Part 6

Chapter 1

Welcome to Marriage, Part 6, in the Marriage & Family Series of the Liberty Bible Course. This study is written to be used with the KING JAMES BIBLE, otherwise your answers are going to be incorrect. Please get your Bible, and begin another exciting study in God’s Word, that just might change your life!

VII. The Problems In Marriage.

A. Your Self.

    1.   I Corinthians 15:31 says, “I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I ______   __________.”

Note:   The biggest problem in life, and in marriage is always self. The above verse does not mean that we are to literally “kill ourselves every day,” but we are to “die to self every day.” In other words, we are to THINK OF OTHERS BEFORE OURSELVES EVERYDAY.

 

The “honeymoon is over” in marriage, when we get tired of putting our spouses before ourselves.

    The word honeymoon is defined as, “a period of harmony immediately following marriage; a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary).
    It is sad that we consider such times as “unusual harmony,” and as “short-lived.” When the newness wears off, then the harmony flees. It is but another proof that man is not basically good, but is basically sinful and selfish.

    2. Ephesians 5:28-29 says, “So ought men to love their ___________ as their ______ bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his ______ flesh; but ____________________ and ____________________ it, even as the Lord the church:”
    3. Mark 10:31 says, “But many that are __________ shall be ________; and the last first.”

Note:   That principle holds true in marriage, too. If we demand that we be first, then we will find ourselves last and miserable.

    4. In Revelation 2:4, a church is rebuked for something, for which many spouses should also be rebuked: "Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy __________   ________."

Note:    Leaving our first love for God is a very serious thing. Even though we may have other good qualities about us (like the Church of Ephesus did), God gives a serious warning about the matter.

    5. The next verse says, “________________ therefore from whence thou art fallen, and ____________, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy ______________________ out of his place, except thou repent.”

The “candlestick” (the flame) of many marriages is almost completely gone out.

How do you get it back?  Two things are necessary: remember and repent.

    6.   I Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye ________________, dwell with them according to __________________, giving ____________ unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Note:   Men, do you really honor your wife now? Do you really dwell with her according to knowledge?   Men, remember what you used to do when you first loved your wife? Did you open the car door for her? (What do you do now — get in your own door, and then yell at her to hurry up and get in, or you are going to leave without her?) Did you used to compliment her cooking? (Now do you complain about what she makes?) Did you used to compliment her on how nice she looked? (Now do you point out her faults?) Did you used to offer to take her out to eat where she liked to go? (Now do you demand to go where you want?).

 

How long has it been since you practiced these things which show that you love your wife more than yourself?

So many men speak roughly to their wives. So many men sit idly by while their wives set the table, and then later clear it. How many men will get filthy dirty while riding four-wheelers, working on cars, or doing their occupations, but they will never offer to change a dirty diaper on the baby? All of these things show the selfishness of husbands. They have lost their first love for their wives. They need to: “REMEMBER therefore from whence thou art fallen, and REPENT, and do the first works.”

    7. I Peter 3:1-4 says, “Likewise, ye __________, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the ____________   ______ of the ___________, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Ladies, is your husband still the hidden man of your heart? Do you

really still love him, or have you grown to loathe and despise him?

Note:    Remember how it was when you first loved your husband? Did you gladly wash his clothes? (Do you now complain to him about how dirty he gets?) Did you delight in making him nice meals? (Do you now complain about having to slave over a hot stove?) When you were out, did you take his arm and walk close to him? (Did you know that it makes him feel loved and special to you when you take that initiative in public?) Did you try to comfort him after he spent a hard day at work? (Do you now complain when he gets home about everything that needs to be fixed around the house?) Did you meet him at the door with a smiling face and a kiss? (Do you now even speak to him when he walks in the door?) How long has it been since you practiced those things?

 

Husbands and wives — do you remember how it used to be? What made those times

so special, compared to now? It was that first love that you had for each other

that made the difference.  You used to think of each other before yourselves.

What can you do to bring back those special times? Remember, and repent.

    8. Galatians 2:20 says, “___ am __________________ with Christ: nevertheless ___   ________; yet not ___, but ____________ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the __________ of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
9. Philippians 4:13 says, “___ can do all things through ____________ which __________________________ me.”

Note:   Yes, through Christ, you can practice that first love again.

VI. The Problems In Marriage.
A. Your Self.

B. Your Spouse.

    1. An unsaved or unspiritual spouse.

        a. I Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye ________________, dwell with them according to __________________, giving ____________ unto the wife, as unto the ____________ vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Note:   A husband is not to use his physical strength to bully or intimidate his wife, but as a tool to honor and protect her.

 

This passage teaches a man to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. That takes

some study on a man’s part, because men do not automatically understand a woman’s needs.

    A man’s wife may suddenly burst into tears when they are dealing with a certain topic. The husband may be totally taken off guard by the tears. The situation may not have seemed that big of a deal to him, but it proved to be very emotional to her. That shows that he did not have the knowledge about her that he needed.
    The man is to give honor to his wife as the weaker vessel. That means that he is not to mock her for her tears and insecure feelings. He must lovingly show her that God is their only true security. An unsaved or unspiritual wife will not be won by a cold, mean, and callused husband.

        b. I John 4:19 says, “We love him, because he __________ loved ____.”

Men, if you want God to hear your prayers and touch the heart of your unsaved or

disobedient wife, then you must dwell with your wife according to knowledge, and in honor.

Quit trying to be the strong bully, and be the loving leader that God commands you to be.

        c. Saved wives are also told how to win their unsaved or disobedient husbands. 1 Peter 3:1-4 says, “Likewise, ye __________, be in ____________________ to your own husbands; that, if any ________   ______ the word, they also may ______________ the ________ be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and __________ spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

In action and in appearance a wife is to be totally reserved for her own husband, and he must know that.

Note: If a woman gets saved and starts getting involved in church, the first thing that her husband may think is that she has another man there at church that she now admires more than him. Why would he not think that? His wife gets all dressed up to go to church, and puts on some nice-smelling perfume.
A wife in such a situation needs to be extra cautious and wise. Modesty in public should always be the rule, but extra caution in this instance is very important. The wise wife in such a situation will wear little, if any, perfume when going out without her husband (like going out alone to church where her lost or backslidden husband will not go). She needs to save the perfume and the attractive little things for when she is going to be with him.

 

A man often treats people according to how they are dressed — and a wife

is no exception. If a wife is dressed nice and feminine, then her husband is more

apt to treat her gently and with tenderness. If a woman is dressed like a man,

then he is more apt to treat her like a man — in a more rough and blunt

fashion (See Bible Course BC-E-106 for how to dress).

Note:    Remember what that verse said? “That, if any OBEY NOT THE WORD, they also may WITHOUT THE WORD BE WON by the conversation of the wives.” The word conversation means “conduct, or behavior” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary). So this is not just talking about what the woman says, but everything that she does. The wife is NOT TO USE THE BIBLE to try and TEACH or PREACH to her husband.

        d. 1 Timothy 2:12-13 says, “But I suffer ______ a woman to __________, nor to usurp authority over the ______, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve.”

The godly wife must be in prayer, and trust that God will bring men along to give

her husband the Word of God.  What the unsaved or disobedient husband needs is the tender,

affectionate love of his wife — that will melt his heart. A preachy wife will only harden his heart.

Just as the wife looks to her husband for security in life (her protector and leader);

even so, the husband looks to his wife for those many little things that

lets him know that she is devoted to him as his loving, faithful wife.

        e. Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The __________ of her ______________ doth safely __________ in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him ________ and not ________ all the days of her life.”

Note:    Notice that this practice is to continue “all the days of her life.” Many wives try this Biblical instruction for a while, and then quit (it is the same with a Christian man who has a lost or disobedient wife — he tries to be a gentle, loving husband — for a while, and then he quits).  Please notice that there is something more important in this matter than getting the desired response from your husband or wife. What could possibly be more important than that?

        f. 1 Peter 3:4 ends by saying, “...even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of ______ of __________ price.”

Note:   How will you ever continue following these instructions if weeks, months, or even years elapse, and you see no improvement in your husband or wife?
You will only continue, if you realize that you are pleasing God. The bottom line is that we are to do these things to please God, first and foremost, whether people then respond in the right way or not.

        g. Revelation 4:11 says, "Thou art worthy, O ________, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy ________________ they are and were ______________."

When we have the correct attitude (not, “Okay, well, I will try it for a while

to see if it works,” — but, “Okay, I will do that from now on because it pleases God”),

that is when we can claim some wonderful promises from God.

        h. Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man's ways ____________ the ________, he maketh even his ______________ to be at __________ with him.”

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